Smartphone ownership among younger children is increasing rapidly. Many primary school children now own them, which has become the norm in high school.
Parents of younger children may occasionally (or routinely) look at their child’s phone to check it’s being used responsibly and safely.
However, as children mature into teens, parental inspections will likely feel like an invasion of privacy. Many would not ask for a high schooler’s diary, yet phones hold even more personal information.
So what do parents need to consider when making the “usage rules” for their children as they get older?
Early smartphone ownership
Parents get their younger children phones for many reasons. Some feel it will help keep kids safe when, for example, traveling on their own to and from school. Others buy one after intense pressure from their child or worry that their child will be left out socially if all their friends have one.
In my research with parents, some also tell me they are reluctant to let their child use the parents’ phone for fear of risking important stored work files or information.
But many parents also worry getting a phone early might encourage addiction, or that a child might be accessing adult content.
Parental guidance for this age group tends to focus on safety, which usually includes checking the child’s phone activity (with or without the child’s knowledge) and restricting access through passwords or time limits.
Parents understandably want their children to be safe. Monitoring may be part of this, but it’s not the whole story. Most important is our role in equipping children to make good, independent, and responsible decisions about their usage.
This means teaching children a broader set of skills about using phones safely and in a way that maximizes theirpotential for learning, connection, and self-expression.
Education and open dialogue about phone safety should begin from day one and continue as they grow.
The focus should be on problem-solving together and respectfully. This is what will empower them to self-regulate appropriately as they grow.
A phased approach: laying the groundwork early
In the first year of a younger child owning a phone, the focus should be on safety.
This may include controls, restrictions, and monitoring, but does not necessarily need to include phone checking. Establishing the rules on safety and wellbeing is key.
This means talking to your children about how and when they use their phones, why they shouldn’t answer unknown texts and calls, beware of giving out personal information online, and being kind online. Let your children know they can always talk to you if they have a weird or bad experience online.
Parents should also focus on the bigger picture of safety and digital habits education. This can include, for example:
- reviewing privacy and app settings together
- understanding screen time features and how to use them
- learning how routines such as reaching for the phone when you wake can have a negative impact.
Look for quality apps together that your child may enjoy or benefit from, such as productivity apps, creative or problem solving games, music, science-based games, or other apps that will help develop their interests and life skills.
Trial and test apps or games with your child to see how they work.
Adapting the approach as children mature
As children mature, parental guidance also needs to change alongside it.
After about 12 months of the child’s phone ownership (give or take), checking needs to fade, and ongoing open communication needs to become the mainstay.
Parents should have frequent, open discussions with their children about online safety, respect, and responsibility at this older stage. Ask your child questions about their phone experiences and always encourage them to ask for help in difficult situations.
Parents may also try new ways of using the phone or certain apps with their child. For example, the child and parent can use the screentime feature to discuss, and be aware of, their developing usage habits. It may also include learning to use the camera and its features well or trying new apps (such as a creative drawing app) that allow them to explore a new interest.
Help your child determine which habits work for them and which ones cause stress. For example, if your child is on a WhatsApp group with friends and classmates, is that causing stress or worry? Talk to them about handling it if they or a classmate are being talked about in the group chat.
The risk of routinely checking a teen’s phone is that it may foster mistrust between parent and child. Regular conversations about online safety, and discussing news articles on the topic are two ways of keeping safety front and center. This helps promote good communication and trust.
Alleviating fear and worry
Taking a phased approach helps your child develop the skills and values needed to make good, independent decisions.
Some children may need more or less than 12 months in the stricter hands-on initial phase. Much depends on their maturity, their home environment, and their social world.
However, a broader and adaptable approach will also help parents better understand their child’s phone use.
This can help alleviate the fear and worry many parents have about phones and kids.
Joanne Orlando, Researcher: Digital Literacy and Digital Wellbeing, Western Sydney University
This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.
