Despite every parent not wanting this to happen, a child’s lying can occasionally occur when least expected. Sometimes children tell a lie about the most minor things ever, and most of the time, they don’t even understand why they do what they do. However, these could be critical moments when you could help them learn how to internalize their feelings.
7 ways to deal with the situation when a child lies
You can do many things when a child is lying, but it’s essential to keep it simple. Dealing with the situation correctly can transform a fib into a significant learning opportunity.
1. Stay calm
The most important thing to do when a child tells a lie is not to panic, stay calm, and allow them to realize that despite it being wrong, it isn’t the end of the world. Since children aren’t masters of their emotions, they should feel it’s okay to make mistakes.
Losing your temper could make your child defensive or less likely to open up. Aside from missing the opportunity to teach your child a valuable lesson, you might even sever your relationship with your child, resulting in short-term or long-term damage.
2. Build a safe environment
It’s essential to create an environment where your child feels safe. This will promote further honesty, as your child knows they won’t be pushed away for telling the truth.
To create a safe space, learn how to control your emotions even under pressure, and when you handle your children, do it out of love and in a way that they won’t be traumatized. Even after learning their lesson, they mustn’t be too afraid to approach you again.
3. Avoid accusations
Instead of accusing the child of telling a lie, you can express your concern on how they weren’t consistent with their story. Instead of punishment, you can reward them when they get the story right, incentivizing them to tell the truth instead of a lie.
By offering them an incentive, to tell the truth, your child will learn to trust you better and to prioritize the fact no matter what. It also helps if you acknowledge your mistakes and make them a silly point instead of blaming yourself or something else.
4. Listen attentively
When telling a fib, allow them to explain themselves without interruption. Even if you know they’re not telling the truth, show them that you’re listening to them intentively and that their story matters to you.
By showing them that you’re willing to listen, they’ll be more open to telling the truth instead of having to make something up to get your attention. If they know you’re listening no matter what, this gives them less incentive to tell a lie.
5. Ask open-ended questions
Sometimes children don’t mean to lie; they’re genuinely confused about what happened. This is why asking open-ended questions is essential, allowing them to clarify themselves while telling the story.
By asking them open-ended questions, you’ll allow the child to explain themselves better while you learn more about their motivations and thought processes. Sometimes parents are too quick to judge, believing their child is lying when they’re just confused.
6. Explain the consequences
Give your child opportunities to come clean and reward them for doing so while explaining that specific actions have consequences. Try to gently explain that it could lead to a result if they do something wrong or don’t tell the truth.
If they tell the truth about them doing something wrong, thank them for telling the truth and try to isolate the punishment or consequence for the action. Also, emphasizing trust is important in a relationship, explaining that they wouldn’t feel right if someone else lied.
7. Set an example
Tell your children the truth in your daily life, and allow children to learn from your actions. This means not lying in front of children, even in uncomfortable situations.
However, you can also teach them that it’s sometimes better not to say anything when there’s nothing nice to say. This helps improve their social intelligence, as they’ll learn when to tell the truth and when to reserve their statements.
Summing it up
When dealing with a child, it’s crucial always to acknowledge that they’re still learning the ropes and that you are the best person to teach them. The more you converse with your child and provide a safe space for them to talk, the more open they’ll be, even growing up.
