In Jewish families, mothers are crucial in imparting basic morals and survival skills to their children, the three golden keys. Both Chinese and Israeli Jewish parents place great importance on parenting and education. But what are the differences in their educational philosophies? A Jewish mother’s story provides a great explanation.
Meet Shala Eimis, a Jewish woman born in Shanghai. When she was 12 years old, her father sadly passed away. In 1992, Eimis returned to Israel with her three children as a single mother. The process of raising her children in Israeli society had a profound impact on her Chinese upbringing. Through hard work and determination, she raised her two sons to become millionaires and published her parenting experience in a book called The 3 Golden Keys of Jewish Mothers.
Eimis describes the Jewish educational philosophy as being like golden keys. Initially, when she returned to Israel, her mind was filled with Chinese-style parenting methods. She believed that as a mother, she should bear all the burdens and hardships in life, and her children should focus solely on studying and getting into a good university. However, her older neighbor angrily shouted at her: “Do you want to raise them as useless individuals just because you have children?”
This incident made Eimis realize that even though her children were young, they needed to shoulder some responsibilities in life. She understood it wasn’t love to watch her mother work tirelessly while they did nothing. From that moment on, Eimis let go and allowed her children to face challenges and learn to endure hardships. She asked her children to help sell spring rolls to support the family.
As a result, Eimis’ eldest son organized a Chinese culture lecture where attendees could taste delicious spring rolls after purchasing tickets. Her second son wholesaled spring rolls to school cafeterias, and her daughter chose to sell them at school, earning a small profit.
The Jewish educational philosophy emphasizes self-sufficiency and not relying on others for food and clothing. As expected, all three children had successful lives. Both sons graduated from university, served in the military, and became millionaires within a few years. Her daughter also entered university.
Eimis summarized the three valuable educational concepts she learned in Israel: survival skills, willpower, and problem-solving abilities. She likened these concepts to three golden keys.
The 3 golden keys
First key: Survival requires compliance with paid rules
A paid living mechanism is followed in Jewish households. Parents create a chore list for their children, with each task assigned a certain amount of money. Children earn rewards by completing these chores. This mechanism helps develop essential skills, such as financial management, self-care, cooperation, and survival.
When Eimis started selling spring rolls, her children were initially shy. But survival requires compliance with paid rules, and there is no such thing as a free lunch. Eventually, her children learned to use their brains and sell spring rolls. They earned money, developed social skills, collected information, and studied market trends.
Second key: Delayed gratification
Shortly after returning to Israel, Eimis abandoned the parenting habit she developed in China — always fulfilling her children’s demands. She realized that constantly satisfying her children’s desires led to a lack of hunger and a sense of entitlement.
Delaying gratification helps develop resilience, self-control, and maturity in children.
Third key: Slow parenting
Jewish parents are willing to let go. Eimis firmly decided not to be an overprotective parent. She shared an incident where she initially wanted to pack her child’s luggage for a camping trip, but changed her mind and let her child prepare it. Even if they forgot something and faced difficulties, it was a lesson they needed to learn on their own.
In their parenting approach, Jewish mothers willingly leave room for their children to solve problems themselves. This is the principle of “slow parenting.” Eimis says: “Raising children is like growing flowers; it requires patience. Slow parenting doesn’t refer to time; it means parents must have patience and not exert excessive control over their children in the name of parental love.”
Throughout their history of enduring numerous catastrophes, Jewish people have maintained their cultural identity despite being scattered worldwide. Jewish family education plays a vital role in preserving their cultural heritage.
In summary
In summary, Jewish mothers have three golden keys for their children’s upbringing: compliance with paid rules, delayed gratification, and slow parenting. These principles help children develop essential life skills, resilience, and the ability to face challenges head-on. Parents can empower their children to thrive in an increasingly complex world by adopting these principles.
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