The renowned Song Dynasty poet and philosopher, Su Dongpo, once said: “An ordinary man who suffers humiliation draws his sword and fights back — this is not true courage.”
Reacting impulsively to offense is not bravery. True courage lies in composure — remaining calm even in the face of insult, exercising self-control, and refusing to engage in pointless conflict. This is the mark of a broad mind, strong character, and far-reaching vision.
Bowing with a smile is a sign of cultured character
Once a celebrated scholar and high-ranking official in the imperial court, Su Dongpo’s outspokenness and sharp pen eventually landed him in political trouble. After boldly criticizing a series of government reforms he believed burdened the people and strayed from traditional values, he was demoted and exiled to the remote post of Huangzhou. Stripped of titles and status, he turned inward — finding peace in poetry, nature, and self-reflection.
There, he cultivated a modest plot of land and called himself “The Hermit of the Eastern Slope.” He spent his days farming and his evenings strolling through the quiet town.
One day, as he wandered through the city, a drunken man staggered into him, knocking him to the ground. The man, reeking of alcohol, cursed at Su Dongpo before stumbling away. Yet instead of taking offense, Su Dongpo merely chuckled and remarked: “I take comfort in knowing that I am no longer recognized.”
Oftentimes, conflict arises because we take ourselves too seriously. The larger one’s ego, the more likely it is to clash with others. That is why Zhuangzi once said that the best way to master one’s temper is to “empty oneself.” Like air, an empty self has nothing to collide with — no resistance, no conflict.
Lowering one’s head is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of refinement and inner strength. A moment of patience, a step back, and everyone walks away in peace.
Bowing with a smile reflects a broad vision
Because of political differences, Su Dongpo’s former friend, Zhang Dun, repeatedly schemed against him. Since scholars were not to be executed in the Song Dynasty, Zhang Dun instead exiled Su Dongpo to Hainan — a remote, undeveloped island regarded as a barren wasteland at the time. Those who were sent there often prepared their coffins in advance, knowing they would not return.
Despite the grim fate others predicted, Su Dongpo saw an opportunity. “Hainan has never been enlightened. For a thousand years, no one has taught its people. If I can bring them the culture and wisdom of the Central Plains, then this exile will become a noble mission.”
What was meant to be a punishment for Su Dongpo became a journey of enlightenment, much like Xuanzang in Journey to the West, who traveled to India to retrieve sacred Buddhist scriptures. While Su Dongpo’s exile to Hainan was intended to break him, he instead found deeper purpose in his hardship.
Once in Hainan, he and his son transcribed scriptures and educated the locals. Thanks to his efforts, Hainan eventually produced its first scholar-official in history.
Perspective shapes destiny. Those with narrow vision see only their misfortune, while those with broader sight see the light beyond the shadows. To bow with a smile is not to surrender to darkness — it is to turn and embrace the sun.
Bowing with a smile is a mark of magnanimity
In his early years, Su Dongpo enjoyed great success and friendships. Many admired his literary genius, while others valued his political influence. But when he was exiled, some friends disappeared, while others even betrayed him. From Huangzhou to Hainan, much of his suffering was orchestrated by his former friend, Zhang Dun.
Years later, Su Dongpo was pardoned and allowed to return north. Sensing that Su Dongpo might regain political power, Zhang Dun’s son wrote him a letter, pleading for mercy on his father’s behalf.
Yet Su Dongpo harbored no resentment. The death of his wife and children during his exile, his years of hardship — all of it felt like a distant past. “What is the point of revisiting old wounds?” he thought.
Instead of seeking revenge, he wrote back with kindness: “Take care of your health — nothing is more important. After weathering life’s storms, my brother still stands. Let us meet with a smile and let bygones be bygones.”
In forgiving Zhang Dun, Su Dongpo freed himself.
Life holds far too many beautiful things to be weighed down by hatred. To let go of grudges is not to concede defeat — it is to liberate one’s own heart.
True wisdom lies in tolerance, self-cultivation, and a vision that transcends personal strife. Life is a tapestry woven with joy and sorrow, triumph and hardship. And those who bow with a smile — they are the truly wise ones.
Translated by Katy Liu
Follow us on X, Facebook, or Pinterest
