There is a common saying among Chinese folks: “It is better to demolish ten temples than destroy one marriage.” The implication is that destroying other people’s marriages is a great sin, even worse than demolishing 10 temples. But on the other hand, helping people tie the knot is a blessing.
Helping people tie the knot is a good deed
When I was young, my grandmother and mother used to quote this saying. So although I did not understand it then, I knew a little truth — that helping people tie the knot is a good thing.
Later in life, I was able to comprehend this principle better. My parents often quarreled and fought with each other. One grandma from the other family repeatedly tried to persuade my father to divorce my mother and said that she would find a better wife for my father.
The other grandma, who lived in the village’s western side, often advised my father not to divorce and that bringing up the children is a fortune and blessing. Growing up, I once asked my mother: “Why don’t you get a divorce when you are so often beaten and bullied?”
My mother told me: “It is easy for me to leave the family, but you were too young, and I was afraid that you would suffer at the hands of a stepmother. If it weren’t for the advice of the grandma in the western village, I would probably have been divorced long ago.”
The outcome for the two families
Later, I observed the situation of my two grandparents’ families. The children and grandchildren of the family who persuaded my father to divorce encountered many problems, and their lives were not harmonious. In contrast, the family who advised my father not to divorce had better and more prosperous lives, and their children became officials.
It seems that the beauty of a person is to do good deeds, which is in line with the divine principle that the good will be rewarded and the evil will receive retribution, and what you get are blessings. Ancients in real life have long proved this point.
Help fulfill other people’s marriage wishes, and this will bring blessings
In the Rich Words from the Morality Series, there is a record that tells the truth that the beauty of a person is in harmony with Heaven’s will and connection with people’s hearts.
During the ancient Chinese Qing Dynasty, Zhang Xionglue, a native of Henan, got married. On the wedding night, the bride cried, and Zhang asked her why. The bride told Zhang: “When I was young, my father betrothed me to Shi. Later, my father despised Shi because he was poor and forced him to retract the engagement, so now I have had to marry you.”
At this juncture, Zhang did not know what to do. The bride wanted to commit suicide, but Zhang could not just watch her die, so he said: “Shi is my good friend. I should let you marry Shi. You must not die.”
That night, Zhang slept in another room. Early the following day, he told his parents what had happened. The Zhang family quickly sent someone to call Shi and specially prepared a room for Shi and the bride to consummate their marriage and become husband and wife.
The Zhang family gave the dowry to Shi and sent the matchmaker to tell the bride’s father: “Your daughter was originally betrothed to Shi, and now she is with Shi, and they are married. If you don’t agree, let the official settle the matter.” However, the bride’s father was afraid of going to court, so he did not dare to object.
That year, Zhang Xionglue took the “Zhongke” examination, and after that, he passed successive imperial tests. After becoming an official, he ascended to “Gong Zhan,” an official in charge of palace affairs mainly for the prince or emperor.
As for Shi, he passed the “Zhongju” examination and became an official. His wife gave birth to a daughter who grew up and later married into the Zhang family; she was very respectful and virtuous, respected the elders, and was well-known in the villages and towns far and near.
By being honorable and helping his friends, he and his family achieved great success
Zhang Xionglue helped his friends fulfill their marriage, which was a very righteous deed. As a result, he ascended to “Gong Zhan,” and his daughter-in-law was also very filial, serving the elders with filial piety and respect.
At the same time, the two stories reveal the secret that people’s fame and wealth come from “virtue,” and the beauty of a person is the accumulation of virtues. But conversely, breaking up marriages and corrupting human relations create karma and evil deeds, and when the time is due, there will be retribution.
Today’s mainland Chinese do not understand this principle. They still regard taking mistresses as a symbol of status and ability. Even those who consciously act as mistresses and third wives, corrupting human relations, think that life is significant, but in fact, they have already planted the seeds of karmic retribution.
People can see the principle of good and evil that governs everything in the world. Only when people have high moral standards can they be called human beings.
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