A renowned celebrity once said that the factors contributing to one’s success can be broadly divided into two categories. Professional knowledge comprises only 15 percent, while personal cultivation, how you treat others, world-handling abilities, and adaptability cover the remaining 85 percent. This statement struck a chord with me.
An unforgettable lesson from a company visit
I came across a story where a teacher brought about 50 students from the senior class to visit a large corporate group. The CEO, being the teacher’s old classmate, agreed to speak with them personally, and the secretary and staff also treated the group very cordially.
Students were seated comfortably in an air-conditioned conference room where each was served a glass of water. The students were at ease and took such treatment for granted. One female student even went so far as to request tea instead of water, explaining that she only drank tea in her daily life. When the staff member returned with tea for the group, only one student stood up, received the tea with both hands, and kindly expressed his gratitude to the staff member for making the extra effort.
Apologizing profusely for making them wait, the CEO came hurriedly, but he was met with silence. Only the teacher and the aforementioned student clapped, their applause echoing awkwardly in the room.
The CEO started speaking and noticed none of the students were taking notes. He instructed his secretary to get some notebooks and pens and personally handed them to each student with both hands while smiling. His smile gradually disappeared, however, as the students simply stretched out one arm to get them without bothering to stand up or thank him. The same student from before received the materials with a warm “Thank you” after standing up.
Later, during job placements, this student received an offer letter from the company. Other students felt disgruntled, as his academic performance wasn’t the best among them. The teacher explained the real purpose of the company visit had been to create opportunities for their future, but due to their disrespectful behavior during the visit, nearly all the students missed out on them.
The reflection principle: What you give comes back to you
If you harm someone, in the long run, you’re only harming yourself. Even though you might not realize it now, the effects will always circle back to you. Everything you do to others, you essentially do to yourself. In other words, you will reap what you sow. This is perhaps the most profound wisdom of all time.
Treat people coldly, and they will respond in kind. If you constantly criticize others, you’ll receive constant criticism in return. Display an unpleasant demeanor, and others will likely reciprocate. Whatever you give will return to you.
In the words of poet W.H. Auden: “Those to whom evil is done, do evil in return.” If you deceive others, you will one day be deceived. Similarly, if you bring joy to others, you will receive joy; if you bless others, you will be blessed in return.
A cautionary tale: Treat others as you wish to be treated
A story from Grimm’s Fairy Tales narrates an incident about an old man living with his son’s family. The old man’s hearing was impaired, his vision weak, and trembling hands often spilled food and broke dishes. Irritated, his son and daughter-in-law made him wooden utensils and banished him to a dark corner of the kitchen.
One day, the son noticed his own child carving wood and asked what he was doing. The child replied: “I’m making wooden utensils for you to use in your old age just like you made for Grandpa.” From then on, the old man was allowed back at the dining table, and the family treated him with the respect he deserved.
The farmer’s philosophy
There’s an interesting story about a farmer whose corn always won the first prize each year at the local agricultural fair. Surprisingly, he never hesitated to share his award-winning seeds with all his neighbors. Intrigued by this generous behavior, someone asked him why he would do such a thing.
His response was simple yet profound: “When I help others, I’m actually helping myself. The wind carries pollen from plant to plant. If my neighbors were to grow inferior corn, the pollination would impact the quality of my own crop. Hence, it’s in my best interest that they sow seeds from the same high-quality strain as mine.”
While seemingly simplistic, the farmer’s words carry profound wisdom. Essentially, whatever you do unto others, you are also doing unto yourself. Thus, anything you desire for yourself, you must first be willing to provide for others.
A guaranteed formula for success
Just like the farmer, if you desire to reap the finest corn, you must be willing to distribute the finest seeds.
If you wish to be loved, then love others first. If you yearn for care and concern, be the first one to show it. If you want others to treat you well, initiate kindness.
This universal principle is an effective formula that applies to every situation.
If you hope to find sincere friends, you must first show sincerity. You will then see your friends reciprocating with genuine feelings. If you want happiness, spread joy to others and soon enough, you will find yourself growing happier by the day.
Do you see the pattern? The best thing we can do for ourselves is to perform kind acts for others.
Essentially, do unto others what you would want done unto you. Give others the experiences you want for yourself; treat others the way you want to be treated. This age-old wisdom, encapsulated in a simple rule, will pave the way for your success.
Translated by Patty Zhang
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