Jealousy is a powerful emotion with a deep-rooted presence in human behavior. It is a natural reaction stemming from fear of loss, be it in affection or attention. Jealousy may be normal, but it’s a negative emotion that eats you from within — leading to feelings of inadequacy and emotional stress.
In this article, we will delve into the nature of jealousy and how to overcome the negative impact of it in your relationships.
The nature and causes of jealousy
This is a multifaceted emotion. It’s usually a blend of anxiety, possessiveness, insecurity, and fear. It may vary in intensity, but it mostly comes when you perceive a threat in your romantic or interpersonal relationships.
6 factors that lead to jealousy
1. Experiences
Negative experiences in previous relationships, such as infidelity or betrayal, can leave scars. These experiences may also heighten your reaction to perceived threats.
2. Insecurity
Low self-esteem or feelings of inadequacy can make you more susceptible to jealousy. You may see another person’s success as favoritism instead of merit or fear losing your partner to someone you see as more worthy or appealing.
3. Attachment behavior
People who get too attached or possessive are more likely to fall into the trap of jealousy. This is closely related to insecurity and fear of abandonment.
4. Communication issues
Poor communication can lead to miscommunication or misinterpretation, which fuels jealousy.
5. Comparison
Measuring your success against your peers is good; friendly rivalry may help you grow. But comparing everything you do to others or viewing others as potential threats can increase feelings of jealousy.
6. Lack of trust
Mistrust can intensify jealousy and create a vicious cycle of suspicion and doubt.
Impact of jealousy
This negative emotion has a detrimental impact on relationships.
1. Erosion of trust
As mentioned, constant suspicion because of mistrust can cause your partner to also lose trust in you. Jealousy undermines trust between partners or employees, shaking the foundation for a healthy relationship.
2. Emotional stress
Constant jealousy can increase emotional distress and anxiety not only for the jealous person, but also for their partner.
3. Controlling behavior
Jealousy may manifest in controlling behavior where one person limits the other person’s contacts, which leads to a loss of personal autonomy — and resentment — in the long run.
4. Communication breakdown
Poor communication can lead to jealousy, but on the other hand, this emotion can hinder open and honest conversations between partners.
Strategies to overcome jealousy
Here are 8 ways to help individuals and couples navigate this destructive emotion and nurture healthier relationships.
1. Self-reflection
First, you must understand that jealousy is a normal emotion; it’s part of being human. So instead of sweeping your emotion under the carpet, accept it. Afterward, you should acknowledge its impact on your relationships with others.
Reflect on your self-esteem and insecurities to understand the origins of your jealousy.
2. Honest communication
Talk to your partner about your feelings. Expressing your fears and concerns without blaming or pointing fingers is important. Also, have empathy and encourage your partner to open up to you.
3. Building trust
As mentioned, trust is the bedrock of a healthy relationship. So work on building trust through support, reliability, and communication.
4. Challenge negative thoughts
This is easier said than done, but you can quell that inner demon in all of us with practice. Remember, assumptions arise from these negative thoughts, so always question whether your feelings are based on facts or assumptions.
5. Avoid comparisons
In the age of social media, where we constantly see well-curated and carefully filtered lives of others, it’s easy to fall into the bottomless pit of comparison. You will always see your peers or coworkers living large but remember; every person has struggled behind the scene.
Remember, every person or relationship is different — with unique strengths and weaknesses. So avoid looking at your relationship through the lens of others.
6. Self-improvement
You can always work to make yourself better once you stop comparing yourself with others. Foster your self-esteem and self-confidence by trying new hobbies. New activities, from coding to knitting, can boost your self-worth.
7. Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness helps cultivate acceptance. Say your coworker gets a promotion before you; instead of brooding over their accomplishment (and your lack of it), you can accept it, congratulate them, and move on.
Mindfulness is all about focusing on your present. Let bygones be bygones, and don’t worry too much about the future.
8. Seek professional help
If jealousy negatively affects your relationships at home or work, it’s advisable to seek psychological help. A therapist or counselor can help you navigate complex emotions, reactions to events and improve your overall well-being.
Overcoming jealousy
We’ve all been possessed by the green-eyed monster and the shame that follows it. But when left unchecked, jealousy can destroy relationships and hinder personal growth. You can overcome its negative impact through self-awareness, mindfulness, trust, and addressing insecurity.
Nurturing healthy relationships requires constant effort and empathy, but the rewards are great. You gain deeper connections, increased emotional intimacy, and a stronger bond.
