China, with its 5,000-year-old civilization, has always been recognized for the importance it places on familial education. Ancient Chinese believed in nurturing good character and morals in their children, such as the renowned minister Kou Zhun, following the principle that one can only “manage the family, govern the country, and pacify the world” by leading a righteous life. Many invaluable lessons have been handed down through generations.
How, then, did the mother of Kou Zhun, a mischievous child who later became a renowned minister during the Northern Song Dynasty, guide him toward righteousness?
Kou Zhun’s mother: Educating for the greater good
Orphaned at a young age and hailing from a poor background, Kou Zhun was solely dependent on his mother, who eked out a living by weaving cloth. She often spent the late nights both spinning yarn and supervising her son’s studies, wishing for his betterment.
After Kou Zhun passed the imperial examinations in Beijing and secured a prestigious position, news of his success reached his hometown. By this time, his mother was gravely ill. Before her passing, she handed over a painting she had crafted herself to a family member, saying: “Kou Zhun will hold office one day. If he errs, show him this painting.”
Upon becoming a high-ranking official and in celebration of his birthday, Kou Zhun planned an extravagant feast, inviting two theater troupes for entertainment. Believing the time was right, the painting was presented to him. Unrolling it, he saw a depiction titled “Studying by the Cold Window” accompanied by a poem:
“With the lone lamp, studying was a hard task, I wish you’d refine yourself for the masses;
The frugal life, as mother advised, In future wealth, remember past hardships.”
Deeply moved by his mother’s parting words, Kou Zhun canceled his grand feast and returned all the gifts he had received.
Following his mother’s death and after ascending to higher office, Kou Zhun always displayed his earnings in the main hall. An elderly maid, upon seeing this, tearfully recalled the family’s earlier hardships and how they couldn’t even afford silk for his mother’s burial. Reminded of these humble beginnings, Kou Zhun remained frugal throughout his life.
Even with his ample salary, Kou Zhun resisted building luxurious homes. He was often compared to historical figures known for their pretentious frugality. In response, Kou Zhun humbly stated: “While others feign simplicity for reputation, I genuinely value it.”
His reputation as a sincere, modest official spread far and wide, even reaching the northern minorities who deeply respected him. On one occasion, an envoy from a minority tribe asked in court: “Is this the minister who refuses to build a grand residence?”
The core values of ancient family education
Traditional family education in ancient China revolved around ethical and moral values. As old sayings go, “A virtuous family will always be blessed, while a wicked one will face misfortune,” and “Leaving a chest of gold for descendants is less valuable than teaching them a single scripture.” It’s believed that teaching children moral values is the most genuine form of care, as virtues are the foundation of a righteous life and the most trustworthy inheritance.
The essence of family education is leading by example, subtly influencing the younger generation.
Parents always aspire to bequeath the best to their children. But material wealth is external. Only by instilling virtues and guiding them towards righteousness can we truly consider their future. This ensures they remain discerning, making the right life choices at every juncture.
Translated article
