Did you know that experiences that make you comfortable often have hidden risks? The things that are painful to endure and make you miserable either make you think or force you to grow.
4 experiences we assume are bad, but are actually good for you and rewarding psychologically
1. Giving up halfway
Since you were young, your parents and teachers have told you to do things from the beginning to the end and not to give up halfway. Sometimes, you want to give up, think you are not suitable or are struggling, but you don’t dare to give up.
However, Wrosch and Miller wrote in the journal Psychological Science: “When people find themselves in a situation where they are unlikely to achieve a goal, giving up may be the most adaptive decision. By giving up on an unattainable goal, a person can avoid the repetitive experience of failure and its physical and psychological consequences.”
There is a saying that when you realize you are going in the wrong direction, stopping the losses in time is a kind of improvement. Knowing when and how to let go is also a kind of wisdom in life. Therefore, when you face a destination that cannot be reached by perseverance and realize that your direction has deviated, it is the wisest choice to give up halfway and stop in time.
2. Cognitive disruption
When you experience a low point in life, suffer betrayal from the people you trust the most, are hurt by the people closest to you, and see the cruelty of the community, your beliefs will be disrupted, and in a moment of collapse. Something that was once so familiar, so symbiotic with you, suddenly part of it dissociates from you, and you suffer terribly.
However, psychological research has found that although this is a painful experience that will be etched in your mind, the subversion and subsequent reconstruction brought about by the cognitive collapse will bring you unexpected gains and new experiences. These will allow you to renew your thinking so that you can better develop your mind and the potential to adapt to society and create a new self so that you can have more opportunities in your life.
In addition, cognitive reconstruction also strengthens your psychological resilience — the ability to resist setbacks and look at problems from a new perspective. When we face difficulties again, we will have a stronger ability to adjust our emotions to cope. More importantly, you will find that you are stronger, have more inner strength, and are no longer afraid to face challenges alone.
3. A heated argument between two people
Whether it’s a fight between friends or a husband and wife, you think it’s bad as long as it is a fight. Your traditional culture tells you that harmony breeds wealth, and all things prosper in the family!
However, some psychologists have shown that quarrels are not necessarily bad. Take a dispute between a husband and wife. The conflict may destroy the relationship between the two people. Still, in a quarrel, if the two people can sincerely express their dissatisfaction and express honest dialogue, not simply for argument’s sake, it benefits the relationship between them.
The function of quarrels between couples or lovers includes testing each other’s bottom lines, expressing their dissatisfaction, stating their expectations, etc. This is an essential form of bonding in an intimate relationship.
It’s not that couples don’t fight. It’s that they reflect on themselves, see the problems they have with each other, and then correct them. What is good for the relationship is to talk about your disappointment and dissatisfaction, to express your point of view, and to make your demands.
Arguments are not about venting hatred, saying things that are not true, nor are they about rehashing old stories and using a strong voice to overwhelm the other party. An argument is also a form of expression; only in the argument to see the other side and to understand the inner needs will strengthen the relationship between husband and wife and will not result in holding a grudge.
4. Immersed in grief that cannot be disengaged
It is usually excruciating when you fall out of love or lose the person closest to you, suffer betrayal, or career failure.
A study found that in an experiment with 97 college students, after they completed a 40-73 day crying diary, 30 percent of the students produced positive emotions, and more intense crying brought more positive feelings, which may be because loud crying can better vent the heart from pent-up emotions.
This is because when one is happy, it is easy to be complacent and revel in joy, leading to a lack of concentration and attention to what is happening around oneself, therefore incorporating wrong or misleading information into one’s mind.
Therefore, it seems that everything has its pros and cons. There is happiness and there is sadness, and there is gain and there is loss. Learning to look at things objectively and rationally is a process that is rewarding and good for you.
