Living with chronic pain is incredibly difficult, but it’s often just as challenging for loved ones to know how to help. You want to offer compassion and support, yet it can be hard to understand what really makes a difference or how best to be there for someone battling ongoing pain.
The good news is there are many simple things you can do to support a loved one with chronic pain and help ease their suffering, even if just for a moment.
5 practical tips to support someone with chronic pain
1. Deep breathing techniques
Deep breathing is one of the easiest ways to relieve chronic pain. Taking slow, deep, controlled breaths can help lower your heart rate and blood pressure and increase feelings of calm and relaxation.
To practice deep breathing:
- Find a quiet, distraction-free place. Sit comfortably or lie down.
- Breathe slowly through your nose so your lower belly rises, filling your diaphragm and lower lungs with air.
- Breathe through your mouth, pursing your lips and making a “whoosh” sound as you exhale.
- Repeat for 5 to 10 minutes a few times a day.
Remember, the more you practice, the more adept you’ll become at using deep breathing to mitigate your pain.
2. Physical activity
Exercise and movement can help relieve pain and improve mobility for someone with chronic pain. While intense workouts are likely out of the question, gentle and low-impact activities should be encouraged.
With that in mind, follow these tips below:
- Suggest going for short walks together. Even 10-15 minutes of walking can help loosen stiff joints and release endorphins to elevate mood.
- Light stretching or yoga can also help. Gentle neck rolls, shoulder rolls, and knee bends are easy to do and feel good.
- Water aerobics or swimming in a heated pool are other options. The buoyancy of the water supports the body and reduces strain.
3. Emotional support
When someone you care about lives with chronic pain, offering emotional support can make a big difference in their well-being and quality of life. Here are a few ways you can provide emotional support:
- Listen without judgment. Let your loved one talk about their pain and listen without criticism.
- Spend quality time together. Your presence and distraction can help take their mind off the pain temporarily.
- Encourage self-care. Help them stick to a routine as much as possible.
- Reassure them. Tell your loved one that the pain is not “all in their head” and that you believe what they’re going through is real.
4. Understand chronic pain
Chronic pain is pain that persists for longer than six months. It can be constant or intermittent, but it significantly impacts a person’s quality of life and daily activities. As a support person, it’s essential to understand what chronic pain feels like and how it affects your loved one.
Educating yourself about chronic pain and various treatment options will help you support your loved one in an informed, sensitive way. But remember that you don’t experience their pain yourself. Your role is to listen without trying to “fix” the pain or give advice unless asked.
5. Pacing
As someone supporting a loved one with chronic pain, it’s essential to understand the concept of pacing. Pacing means balancing activity and rest to avoid exacerbating symptoms. Your loved one has limited energy to expend due to their pain, so pacing helps them avoid overdoing it on good days and crashing on bad days.
To help with pacing:
- Help your loved one identify triggers that cause their pain to flare up. Then, you can work together to avoid or minimize those triggers when possible.
- Assist your loved one in planning and prioritizing activities. Help them determine what’s most important to focus their energy on each day.
- Offer to assist your loved one with chores, errands, or tasks when their pain levels are elevated. The less they have to push through, the less likely their symptoms will worsen.
Empathy in action: Supporting someone with chronic pain
Supporting someone with chronic pain can be challenging, but you now have some practical tips to provide compassion and make a difference. One day at a time, you can walk this road together.
