You’ve probably heard the maxim: “Long distance relationships don’t work.” It’s conventional wisdom that people keep repeating, and you may find yourself questioning the strength of your friendship when you or your best friend are moving to different places. But don’t despair, because the only thing that makes this age-old notion seem self-fulfilling is that most people don’t work to keep their friendships alive.
If both of you are willing to make every effort, you will be surprised how smooth this transition in your life will be — you will always be BFFs.
How to keep your long-distance friendship alive
Accept the situation
When you or your friend is moving away, you may feel disappointed and lost. You may want them to stay, but it’s essential to understand their wishes and respect their decision if they are moving away. You would want their support if it were the other way around.
Make a conscious effort
Long-distance friendships come with unique problems that you may not yet foresee. But simple things like picking up your phone and hearing your friend speak can work wonders for your relationship. It’s easier to rely on social media updates or texts to check in on your friend, but this can give you a false sense of connection.
So always find time to have an in-depth conversation with your friend. Don’t be afraid to ask about the private stuff about their social life, their kids, spouses, or boss, or even what they had for lunch.
Personalize your communication
Speaking of staying in touch, try to personalize your communication. Calls and FaceTime are great because you can see their faces. But you can also go old school and send them a letter with a personal touch, like a precious photo of you both, a memento, or even something both of you like, such as calligraphy.
Be honest
Acknowledge your relationship with your friend is going to be different. There will be a lack of communication, misinterpretations, misunderstandings, and a new dynamic in your friendship.
For example, it’s easy to read too much into something when friends text you differently or mark your texts as read without replying. Address how you feel openly and find ways or set dates to keep the relationship going. If in doubt, don’t let mistrust and resentment build; ask your friend for clarification because you can’t read verbal cues over text.
Do something together, apart
Old memories are great and will keep the long-distance friendship going for a while. But eventually, reminding yourself of the same stories over and over may become tedious for some people. So you can find something you can do together in different places, such as catching a movie show, solving daily puzzles, yoga, trying a meal at chain restaurants and comparing, or researching theories and mulling over them. You know each other, so find something that promotes closeness.
Make use of your distance
The long-distance you fear will ruin your relationship can be a blessing in disguise. It’s an opportunity to get away from the familiar surroundings at home and see new places. You may decide to visit each other at specified times or even find midpoints where you can have some novel experience.
This is also an opportunity to buy unique gifts for each other.
Don’t let jealousy ruin your relationship
Your friend will meet new people and make new friends, or vice versa. It may even happen faster than you thought it would. So if this happens, be happy for them and don’t let it ruin your relationship, primarily if you’ve known your friend for a long time.
Like in long-distance romantic relationships, trust is essential when you and your friend live miles apart. You have to be there for them in good and bad times and trust that they will do the same for you.
In conclusion
Just because you can’t meet your friend often doesn’t mean your relationship will collapse. Long-distance relationships can work if you put in the effort, support each other, and be ready to reciprocate.
