Most parents would love their babies to develop healthy sleeping habits as early as possible. However, baby sleep can be overwhelming, even frustrating, because you have to balance your child’s needs with your rest. For tired parents who don’t want to “sleep only when their child sleeps,” sleep training may be the solution. It can help your baby become a super sleeper and allow you to catch a breather.
What is sleep training?
Sleep training involves teaching your child to sleep on their own. Your goal is to have them sleep throughout the night, and if they are startled awake, they should be able to go back to sleep without soothing, feeding, or rocking.
After they are sleep trained, your baby will get the much-needed 9 to 12 hours per day, and you’ll also feel rejuvenated after months of not resting well. This reduces the risk of pediatric insomnia on the part of the baby and depression and poor health on the parents’ part.
What sleep training isn’t
Contrary to popular belief, sleep training isn’t neglecting your baby and letting them cry for hours. There are different methods that you can tailor depending on your child. It’s also not instant, nor is there a blanket way to train every child. Sometimes, even what worked for one of your children may not work for another.
When should you start sleep training?
The sweet spot to start sleep training is when your child is four and a half years old. Experts say children at this age are big enough to go six to eight hours without eating, but still young enough to associate sleep with your presence. It’s also the age when they start developing their inner biological clock (circadian rhythm), which helps them sleep through the night.
Sleep training methods
Cry it out (CIO) or extinction method
This is a method that many parents dread because you’ll have to leave your baby to cry themselves to sleep without any comfort from you — as long as they are well-fed, safe, and healthy. It seems like abandonment, but it leads to faster results, often three or four nights.
Ferber method or gradual extinction
If you or your partner is too uncomfortable leaving your baby to cry for extended periods, you can let your child cry for a set period before checking on them. You then keep increasing this time interval until they sleep. Over several nights, you will keep increasing the time until the baby learns to self-soothe.
Chair method
If your child has become used to having you in the room (especially older babies), you can stay in the room as they learn to fall asleep independently. Sit in a chair beside them as they fall asleep, but gradually move farther every night until you reach the door and then out of the room. This may be less distressing for the parent, but it will take longer. However, your child may never get used to sleeping without you in the room.
Pick up and put down method
In this method, you will pick up or soothe your toddler when they cry, but immediately put them down as soon as they stop. If they start crying again, wait a few moments, and then repeat the process. You must do this repeatedly until they sleep, so you must be patient.
Bedtime fading method
This method involves adjusting your baby’s sleep time to an earlier bedtime than their usual sleep time. You begin by noting their natural sleep patterns and then start putting them in their crib at that time. Then, you gradually move this bedtime to earlier times until you reach your desired bedtime. This may help you avoid crying because it works with their natural rhythms.
No tears method
If you are easily distressed by your child’s wailing, you can help them fall asleep by singing, rocking, nursing, and using whatever comforting strategies you use. Over time, you will reduce your involvement, and they should learn to sleep without your comforting strategy or presence.
Sleep training tips
On average, sleep training starts working in about 3 to 7 days, but the longest it should take is two weeks. Remember, you can also sleep train them for naps using the same methods, but this may take longer, sometimes two to six weeks.
Expert tips to use to increase your sleep training success include:
- Choosing the best method for you
- Ensuring both of you are onboard; you may even include other family members
- Stick to the routine and be consistent
- Create a sleep conducive environment
- Place your child to sleep when they are drowsy but not yet asleep
- Delay response time to allow them to self-soothe
- Stay calm, and if you do any checks, feeds, or diaper changes, make your interactions brief
If you need help deciding which methods to use or if your child has any health conditions, check in with your pediatrician. Also, consult them if you’ve tried a technique or two for over two weeks and it isn’t working.
Takeaway
Sleep training usually involves crying for both of you, which may be emotionally challenging. However, with consistency and luck, your baby will soon pick up healthy sleeping habits that benefit your family and your baby. Plus, you’ll have given them their first taste of independence.
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