Imagine you’re an HR professional presented with two qualified candidates. Candidate A is an Ivy League graduate with a perfect 4.0 GPA, a flawless résumé, and glowing recommendations. Candidate B is a public school graduate with diverse experience, working odd jobs like a cashier and a singing waiter. Who would you choose?
This was the question posed by human resources director Regina Hartley during her insightful TED talk on finding the perfect employee. Unsurprisingly, most would instinctively choose Candidate A — an impressive individual with an impeccable track record.
However, Regina Hartley advocated for Candidate B, drawing a vivid comparison between the two types of candidates. She referred to the former as a “silver spoon” and the latter as a “fighter.” The “silver spoon” represents the classic high achiever, often viewed as the ideal candidate, while the “fighter” is the underestimated gem with immense potential.
A fighter’s journey
A friend once shared her experience working at a luxury hotel chain. A new hire — a young man born in the 1990s — joined their team. His background was unconventional, having worked at various obscure companies, selling real estate, and even picking up odd jobs. His background contrasted starkly with the polished image of their company. Initially, nobody thought highly of this outsider. However, some notable events occurred that changed people’s perceptions.
The first was that the company’s China division faced layoffs amid a global performance downturn last year. Departments were subjected to rounds of cuts, and the atmosphere was tense and uncertain. Yet this young man remained unfazed. When asked why he seemed so calm, he smiled and said: “I’ve been unemployed before — nothing to panic about.”
The other occurred when the company had its eyes on a plot of land, but faced a problematic landlord — an unyielding tycoon who would insult negotiators outright. Many highly educated colleagues failed to secure a deal with him. In the end, this young man succeeded in sealing the deal.
Unlike his polished peers — some of whom clung to their pride or put on an unconvincing show of humility — he had a natural ability to navigate challenging personalities. His years of diverse experiences have honed his persistence and ability to adapt to challenging situations.
The value of struggle
The company’s CEO later explained why he valued this unconventional employee: “When evaluating people, don’t just look at the results. Pay attention to the process.” The analogy he used was telling: Navigating life is like sailing. While a luxury yacht is impressive, the real skill lies in steering a small, battered boat through storms.
A well-known saying often directed at parents applies equally well to us all: “If a child never struggles, they won’t thrive as adults.” Those who experience a smooth journey early in life face difficulties later. This is why interviewers often ask: “Tell me about a time you faced adversity.” It might be a red flag if you don’t have an answer.
“Silver spoon” candidates often excel academically and professionally, but lack a key trait: resilience. Without experience navigating setbacks and difficulties, they risk becoming overqualified yet underprepared for real-world challenges. “Fighters,” on the other hand, are self-made. They’ve faced rejection, overcome obstacles, and proven their strength through adversity. As any boxer knows, you don’t truly understand your weaknesses until you take a hit.
Life isn’t about the spotlight; it’s resilience that truly matters
Recently, the phrase “debuting in the center position” — popularized in K-pop and idol culture, where the most prominent group member takes center stage — has gained attention. This concept has left many young people feeling frustrated and inadequate, fixating on what they see as shortcomings in their education, experience, or résumés.
But the reality is not everyone can stand in the center. While there’s nothing wrong with wanting the spotlight, believing life is meaningless without it is. Life will inevitably knock you down — missing out on a dream school, losing a job, or facing discrimination. In these moments, resilience — the ability to recover and move forward — becomes essential.
In life, you need many forms of intelligence: “IQ” (Intelligence Quotient), “EQ” (Emotional Quotient), and most importantly, “AQ”’ (Adversity Quotient). AQ measures your ability to recover from setbacks, also known as resilience. While society often celebrates “IQ” and “EQ,” “AQ” is rarely taught. The world may show you how to succeed but seldom teaches you how to handle failure. Those who master this skill — the “fighters” — stand out.
No matter how fortunate or disadvantaged you are, misfortune is an inevitable part of life. At some point, we all face setbacks, whether in personal loss, professional failure, or unexpected challenges. The real test, however, is not in how smoothly life unfolds but in how we respond when it doesn’t. Will you rise again, learn from the experience, and keep moving forward? Those who can — who embrace resilience and find strength in adversity — are the true winners because they understand that setbacks don’t define us, but rather, how we rise from them does.
Translated by Katy Liu and edited by Tatiana Denning
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