When people think about repaying a favor, many instinctively reach for the simplest option: treating someone to a meal. A shared dinner can be meaningful, but gratitude runs deeper than that. In traditional culture — and in our everyday lives — there are other ways to acknowledge someone who has supported you. These gestures not only express appreciation, but also allow kindness to be carried forward in a more thoughtful and lasting way.
3 approaches to repaying kindness to people who have helped you most
1. Offer help when they need it
The Classic of Admonitions, a 17th-century collection of moral tales, includes a story about kindness returning to the giver.
A man named Shi Fu earned his living by raising silkworms. One day, while selling silk, he found a bundle containing six taels of silver — a considerable sum at the time. He realized that losing this money would be devastating for its owner and waited at the spot until the anxious man returned. The owner, Zhu En, gratefully offered to take him to a tavern for drinks, but Shi Fu politely refused.
Some time later, Shi Fu’s household ran out of mulberry leaves, which are essential for feeding silkworms. He traveled by boat to buy more. Late that night, as he went to borrow a flame to light his way, he unexpectedly crossed paths with Zhu En again. Without hesitation, Zhu En gave him leaves from his own garden and even rowed the boat himself to deliver them.
Kindness offered at the right moment often becomes a lasting memory. When someone has supported us, offering help in their time of need is one of the most sincere forms of gratitude — and a value we can also pass on to the next generation.
2. Refuse on the surface but help quietly
Hong Kong actor Chow Yun-fat built a remarkable career through hard work and talent, eventually becoming one of Asia’s best-known stars. Despite his fame, he has long been known for his humility. Some vloggers earn money by filming him during his daily walks; rather than getting annoyed, he often invites them to come closer and chat.
When actor Ng Man-tat (familiar to many as “Uncle Tat”) fell into heavy gambling debt, he turned to Chow Yun-fat for help. Chow declined publicly, not wanting to embarrass him — but behind the scenes, he arranged for Ng to join a film project. That role earned Ng the award for Best Supporting Actor, revived his career, and inspired him to reform his life. He dedicated himself to acting with integrity and became widely respected by audiences.
When someone rises after receiving help and proves themselves through character and achievement, their benefactor often feels a deeper joy than any thanks could provide. In such moments, the person who helped knows their support truly made a difference.
3. Be grateful for help in hard times and pass the warmth forward
Another story speaks to the long life of kindness when it is passed from one person to another.
A young man once set out on a long car trip, only to have his vehicle break down in the middle of nowhere. As he wondered what to do, a rider on horseback happened to pass by. Without hesitation, the rider agreed to take him to the nearest town to seek help.
When they arrived, the traveler tried to offer a reward. The rider smiled and said: “You don’t need to thank me. Just remember — if you meet someone in hardship, you must lend a hand.”
The young man took those words to heart. Over the years, he helped countless strangers and always repeated the same message.
One day, while returning to his hometown, he was caught in a sudden flood and stranded on a small island. A stranger braved the dangerous waters and swam out to rescue him. Overwhelmed, the young man tried to express his gratitude. But the rescuer simply spoke the same words he had passed on to so many others: “You don’t need to thank me. Just help others when you see someone in trouble.”
In that moment, he realized that the chain of kindness he had carried forward had quietly made its way back to him. The realization filled his heart with warmth — proof that the good we send out into the world often returns in unexpected ways.
Carrying kindness forward
When we receive help, repaying it isn’t only about expressing personal gratitude. It is also about keeping kindness alive in the world. Whether we offer support in a moment of need, help someone quietly without seeking recognition, or pass warmth to the next person, every gesture becomes part of a larger circle of compassion.
Kindness, once given, rarely disappears. More often, it finds its way from one heart to another — and eventually back again.
Translated by Audrey Wang
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