As the saying goes: “Time is the best touchstone to see a person’s heart.” It will eventually be revealed even if someone tries to disguise their true nature. To gain insight into a person’s true character, pay attention to their behavior under different circumstances.
3 things that reveal a person’s character
1. Observe how a person reacts when he is wronged
Ji Xianlin, a renowned Chinese scholar, once visited a small restaurant with friends. At the following table sat a mother and her child. The mother left the child on a stool to use the restroom during the meal. While she was away, the child accidentally fell off the stool and began crying loudly.
Seeing this, Ji immediately rushed to help the child. Just then, the mother returned, saw her child crying on the floor, and misunderstood the situation. Assuming Ji had hurt her child, she angrily scolded him, saying: “Why would a grown man bully a child? If my son is hurt, you’ll have to take responsibility!”
Ji did not argue or talk back. Instead, he calmly returned to his seat and continued eating. However, the other customers, unable to tolerate the unfair accusation, spoke up. “Your child fell by himself,” they said. “This gentleman was kind enough to help him up, and yet you scolded him without reason!” Realizing her mistake, the woman felt embarrassed and quickly left the restaurant with her child.
Afterward, a friend asked Ji: “You were wronged. Why didn’t you say something when she scolded you?” Ji smiled and replied: “Arguing with her would only have worsened things. She acted that way because she loves her son, so there’s no reason to be upset.”
To truly understand a person’s character, observe how they behave when wronged. Those who can maintain composure and grace in such moments often possess exceptional character.
2. Pay attention to how a person deals with money
A boss asked a friend to conduct a market survey. After receiving the results, the boss went to pay for the service, but the friend politely declined, saying: “Since we are friends, I don’t want to charge you.” The boss replied: “Because we are friends, you should accept this money. The best way to preserve a friendship is to keep matters of money separate from personal relationships.”
The boss later told a friend: “I prefer to be friends with people who are straightforward about handling any financial matters that might arise between us. Discussing money openly isn’t about generosity; it’s about maintaining balance. The clearer the separation between money and friendship, the longer the friendship will last.”
In any relationship, one fundamental principle is not to take advantage of one another. If one person is generous and gives freely, but the other treats them like a never-ending financial resource, the foundation of their friendship will inevitably crumble.
A person’s true character is revealed in how they handle money. Those who are thoughtful and responsible with their finances demonstrate integrity and build a reputation for trustworthiness. Individuals who consistently repay debts on time, honor their promises, and keep their commitments are the ones who earn lasting trust and respect.
3. Watch how a person handles low points in their life
In the 1950s, Mu Xin, a writer, poet, painter, and designer, was once considered one of Beijing’s 10 most outstanding interior designers. However, he was arrested during the Cultural Revolution because of his writings. During his incarceration, three of his fingers were broken, and he was confined to a dark, damp underground cell surrounded by filthy water. He survived on sour buns and moldy pickles for six months, infested with flies. Later, he was sent to a labor camp for a year. Despite this horrific treatment, his indomitable will remained unbroken.
While imprisoned, he found a piece of white paper and drew black and white piano keys. In the silence of the night, he would retreat to a corner and, using his fingertips, silently play Chopin and Mozart on the paper keys. He once said: “By day, I am a slave, but by night, I am a prince.”
Those who had incriminated him expected Mu Xin to emerge broken, stooped, and dressed in filthy rags like a beggar. But on the day of his release, they were stunned to see Mu Xin standing tall, his pants sharp with straight seams, and his shoes so polished they reflected the silhouettes of those around him. His face, smiling and radiant, was the picture of cleanliness and elegance. Despite enduring the depths of darkness and the world’s harshness, Mu Xin survived and lived with dignity.
The most profound tests of human nature arise not during times of success or comfort, but when a person faces the lowest points in life. It is easy to remain strong and composed when everything is going well. However, the accurate measure of a person is revealed when they encounter hardship, struggle, and life’s challenges.
If someone has experienced the harshness of life — its coldness, indifference, or seeming cruelty — yet still retains their compassion, kindness, and inner strength, they have reached remarkable spiritual heights. To maintain one’s integrity and humanity in the face of adversity is the greatest testament to the strength of one’s character.
By observing how others navigate these three situations — how they react when wronged, how they handle financial matters, and how they endure hardship — we gain a clear window into their spirit. These moments reveal their moral foundation and ability to maintain dignity, respect, and kindness in the face of adversity. It is these qualities that define a person of truly exceptional character.
Translated by Audrey Wang and edited by Tatiana Denning
Follow us on X, Facebook, or Pinterest
