Having a positive outlook can not only change a bad situation, but it can change your life, and even create a better society. In fact, the first thought you have can determine whether a situation has a negative outcome or a positive one.
Sometimes, when you have a bad thought about someone, it’s because you believe that they have wronged you or treated you unfairly in some way. But it may be the case that it is just your perception and misunderstanding that is leading you to think this.
If you look closely, you may find that life presents you with situations in your daily life that can teach you valuable lessons.
Anger disappears when compassion and a positive outlook arise
One rainy summer day, there was a man who boarded a bus that was packed with people as tightly as sardines. Along the way, he suddenly felt someone’s umbrella tip jab deeply into his ankle. He immediately became very angry. He wanted to turn around and return the favor to the ignorant person, but the bus was so crowded that he couldn’t move.
When the bus swayed, the tip of the umbrella would stab him even harder. As his anger grew, he began to think about reprimanding the other party harshly and at length when he had the chance. At last, the bus arrived at a big station. Some of the passengers got off, and he finally had room to maneuver. After angrily pushing the thorny umbrella tip away with his leather shoe, he turned around to glare at the passenger with the sternest of expressions.
That’s when he discovered the other party was not the thoughtless and inconsiderate person he had imagined. Instead, it was an elderly blind woman, and what had stabbed his ankle was not the tip of an umbrella, but her cane!
He felt ashamed of himself for the bad thoughts he’d had. His uncontrollable fury suddenly disappeared without a trace, and his ankle suddenly seemed to no longer hurt as much after his positive outlook.
An ancient tale
There is a story from the collected writings of Chinese philosopher Zhuangzi (369-286 B.C.) that goes something like this. One misty morning, a man was paddling upstream along a river. Suddenly, he saw a small boat coming directly downstream toward him. Seeing that it was headed straight toward him, he shouted loudly: “Be careful! Be careful!” Despite his warning, the boat kept coming and rammed straight into him, nearly sinking his boat. He flew into a rage and started yelling at the other party, swearing loudly without restraint. But when he took a closer look, he saw that the boat was empty. His anger immediately subsided as he saw the situation in a new light.
Emotions arise from your thoughts and perceptions
Why did the feeling of the man on the bus suddenly change and his ankle not hurt so much? And why did the man on the boat suddenly calm down when he realized what had happened? Put simply, it was just a change of mind to a more positive outlook.
The first man’s anger seemed to arise from the thought: “That woman stabbed my ankle.” But in actuality, it came from the thought: “This person is so reckless and disrespectful.” When he discovered the woman was blind, his thoughts changed, and with it, his feelings of anger also transformed. In essence, when his own perception of the situation changed to a more positive outlook, he was able to let go of his anger and replace it with understanding and kindness.
The stories above tell that it is not the incident itself that usually hurts people, but what affects people are actually their own thoughts about an incident.
For example, if you were splashed with water by someone from a second-story window, you would probably yell at him, or even curse at him. But if you got wet in a sudden rain shower, you would not lose your self-control, even if you are normally a bad-tempered person.
Many times, things themselves will not hurt you, but what hurts you is your own thoughts, opinions, and perception of things. When you change your thoughts and develop a positive outlook, your mood will be different.
So the next time you feel yourself getting angry with someone, take a moment to pause, look rationally at the situation, and see things through the lens of kindness, compassion, and thinking of others first. A positive outlook can go a long way in turning a bad situation around.
It’s really quite simple — having a positive outlook will make you feel happier and help you have a more harmonious and peaceful life!
Translated by Patty Zhang
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