Is marriage predestined by Heaven? During the Ming Dynasty, a man in Yihuang, Jiangxi Province, was honored as Lord Tan Xiangmin. His real name was Tan Lun. He was one of the famous generals who fought against the Japanese pirates.
This is a story about a young woman who later became the wife of Lord Tan Xiangmin. She was betrothed to marry a young man with the family name of Li. However, on the day of her marriage to the Li family, while being carried in the bridal chair, she unexpectedly lost control of her bladder.
This was considered a scandal. The young man of the Li family felt disgraced, so he broke off the marriage and sent her back to her parents. It meant that the neighbors and friends who knew the parents and family members found out about the unfortunate incident and laughed at her. Consequently, no man was willing to marry her, much to her shame.
A marriage without a dowery
At the time, the young Tan Lun was too poor to pay a bride price, also known as a dowry, and could not afford to get married. The failed bride’s parents were willing to marry off their daughter without accepting a dowry in payment, and the two were married.
After the marriage, Tan Lun found his wife virtuous and intelligent. He did not think that she was someone who would pass urine while in the wedding sedan chair, so he asked her about it. But she would not tell him.
Later, in 1544, Tan Lun passed the official entrance examination and became an official known as Tan Xiangmin. He did many good deeds for the country and the people, serving as the Prince’s teacher and the Secretary of the Ministry of Military Affairs.
Still in a dream
Once, Tan Xiangmin’s wife was summoned to the palace. When she returned, she smiled and said to her husband: “I finally understand what happened with the dream I had a few years ago.”
After I entered the bridegroom’s sedan chair, which was taking me to the Li family, I suddenly fell asleep in the middle of the journey and dreamed that two palace maids guided me to the palace, which was a magnificent sight. Once I had passed several palace gates, I suddenly felt I needed to relieve myself.”
The palace maids escorted me to the toilet, where I used a red toilet bowl. When I woke up, I had passed urine, believing I was still in the dream. Although ashamed, I knew there must be a reason for this dream, so I held back and waited for a better match.”
I didn’t tell anyone about this dream in the past because I was afraid people would say that I had deliberately fabricated such a story to cover up my embarrassment. However, when I entered the palace today, everything I saw was the same as in that dream.”
God’s arrangement
“Now, years later, I was summoned to the palace. I needed to use the toilet, so a palace maid guided me there. When I arrived, I saw it was the same as my dream. Had I not had that dream back then, I would not have the honor I have today. God’s arrangement is marvelous.”
After listening to his wife’s account, Tan Xiangmin sighed, realizing that everything was predetermined under God’s will and that he and his wife were a match made in Heaven. No matter how they had met, their marriage was predestined.
This story shows that marriage is predetermined. Therefore, in family relationships, you must also treat your spouses, family members, relatives, and friends with kindness and tolerance.
Translated by Audrey Wang and edited by Helen London
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