The morning in the tranquil mountains is exceptionally quiet, with gentle bamboo leaves rustling softly in the cool wind. An old monk sits quietly in the courtyard, tidying bundles of firewood, his hands moving slowly but steadily without the slightest hint of impatience or irritation. Someone approached and asked him: “Master, why do some people who appear completely ordinary live peaceful, happy, and contented lives, while others, despite having very good material circumstances, always feel unlucky and deeply unfortunate?” The old monk stopped his steady work and said calmly: “Good fortune isn’t just written in one’s fixed destiny; it’s also hidden within one’s daily attitude toward life’s events. How you think when things don’t go your way, how you think when you see others doing well, and how you think about what you already possess — over time, these choices will naturally lead your life in vastly different directions.”
Upon deeper reflection, these three foundational questions point to three distinct directions the human heart can be pulled: how one views the past, how one views others, and how one views oneself in the present. Whether a person can truly let go of past difficulties, remain tolerant toward others, and genuinely cherish the present largely determines the breadth or narrowness of their heart and the ultimate lightness or heaviness of their life journey.
Let go of past grievances to free your present mind
Life is seldom perfect, and in our daily lives, we often encounter painful moments: being wronged at work, having our good intentions misunderstood, seeing carefully laid plans fall through, or even simply getting caught in a torrential downpour on the way out — all of which can be incredibly frustrating and stressful. Some resilient people feel angry, deal with the problem directly, and move on immediately, while others mull over that unpleasant feeling repeatedly, holding a bitter grudge for days and giving everyone around them the cold shoulder. The old monk told a simple story about a man who once tripped over a stone while walking and badly scraped his knee. He sat on the rough ground, blaming the careless road workers; complained bitterly to his family when he got home; and flared up with intense anger again when he passed by that exact same spot the next day. The stone tripped him only once, but in his lingering mind, he tripped himself countless times.
The Saṃyutta Nikāya wisely notes that for ordinary people, deep suffering is like being struck by two separate arrows: the first arrow is the physical or emotional pain caused by the event itself, and the second is their own internal resentment, regret, and constant rumination about that pain. The wise, however, suffer only the first arrow because the second is entirely self-inflicted. As the ancient Greek Stoic philosopher Epictetus famously observed, what troubles people is not things or events themselves, but their specific perspective on them. Eastern and Western philosophers agree on this essential point: one cannot choose every event one encounters, but one can always choose how long it lingers in the mind. Truly blessed people face setbacks but never let past events keep consuming their present mood. They address what needs addressing, improve what can be changed, and gradually let go of what cannot be undone, recognizing that freeing the heart from negative burdens opens up a whole new path.
Celebrate the success of others to widen your own heart
A skilled carpenter’s business began to decline steadily over time. When his neighbor built a grand new house, he suspected the money was ill-gotten; when a fellow carpenter landed a lucrative job, he accused him of cutting corners; when his young apprentice could open his own shop, he accused him of being ungrateful. Over time, his neighbors stopped associating with him, his professional colleagues stopped sharing valuable experiences, and his apprentice gradually drifted away entirely. Others didn’t steal his opportunities; his incessant jealousy drove away the good relationships around him. In The Conquest of Happiness, philosopher Bertrand Russell listed envy as a primary root of human unhappiness, noting that envious people derive joy not from what they possess, but from what others possess. Jealousy harms the envious person first, leaving their own heart to suffer greatly while others’ good fortune remains unaffected.
Buddhism speaks of “rejoicing in others’ good deeds” as a profound form of spiritual merit, while Confucius urged people to emulate virtue when they saw someone better than themselves. Both teach that taking others’ good as a helpful model, rather than a target for petty resentment, frees the heart from narrow comparison. The most valuable cultivation a person can attain is not only living well oneself, but also accepting and celebrating others’ good fortune. When friends succeed, be genuinely happy for them; when others achieve their goals, don’t rush to belittle them; when you meet highly skilled individuals, learn from them rather than harbor foolish hostility. The light of others will never block your own path; instead, appreciating others naturally attracts goodwill and benefactors.
Cherish what you have to cultivate true contentment
A man walked into a quiet temple, sat down heavily, and sighed: “My life is terrible; I have nothing at all.” The old monk asked him softly: “Can you walk?” He said yes. “Is there a safe place to sleep at night?” He nodded slowly. “Is there wholesome food to eat when you are hungry, and someone to care for you when sick?” He thought for a moment and nodded again. The old monk smiled gently: “You don’t have nothing; you just take what you already possess for granted.” People often focus on what they lack, forgetting how much value they already have. Moving freely, eating daily meals, having companionship at home, and sleeping peacefully are all profound blessings. Psychologists note that people naturally adapt to their circumstances, so even great joys or ideal conditions can eventually be taken for granted as they chase the next goal.
Lao Tzu foresaw this human tendency long ago, stating: “He who is content is rich.” True wealth is not about total possessions, but whether one feels genuinely satisfied. Similarly, Zhuangzi noted that a wren needs only a single twig to nest in the deep forest, and a mole drinks only what fills its stomach at the river; people need far less than they desire. True contentment does not mean ceasing to strive for improvement, but rather appreciating the present while working toward a better life. The old monk picked up his firewood and added: “Good fortune doesn’t suddenly fall upon someone; it is cultivated slowly through every small choice you make.” As the Shangshu notes in its “Hong Fan” chapter, the “Five Blessings” include the “love of virtue,” showing that blessings were never merely external possessions, but an underlying benevolent heart. Happiness ultimately depends on the relationship between one’s heart and one’s circumstances: letting go frees you from the past, blessing others prevents envious comparison, and cherishing the present keeps you from being endlessly chased by desires.
Translated by Audrey Wang and reviewed by Maria
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