Everyone can talk, but not everyone knows how to speak effectively. Using language wisely and mastering the art of conversation allows you to get along with others and become a person with high emotional intelligence.
8 techniques to help you display your emotional intelligence
1. Life is already sweet enough
One colleague remarked: “Why are the strawberries I buy never sweet?” Another colleague responded: “Because your life is already sweet enough.” This simple yet thoughtful response not only lightened the mood, but also showed a deep understanding of the importance of appreciating the sweetness already present in your life. It’s a gentle reminder to focus on the positive aspects of life.
2. Growing old together
A mother noticed she had some gray hairs and asked her husband to pluck them out. He replied: “I can’t pull them out; that’s what it means to grow old together.” This response not only reassured his wife, but also highlighted the beauty of aging together. It turns a potentially negative moment into a touching affirmation of their enduring relationship.
3. Just a little earlier
My husband and I have different educational backgrounds, and he knows so much more than I do. Every time, I marvel: “You’re amazing; you even know this!” He humbly responds: “I just learned it a bit earlier than you. Now you know it too.” This approach fosters a sense of equality and mutual respect in a relationship, emphasizing that knowledge is a journey we all share.
4. Winning gracefully
During a college debate competition, our team of all men faced a team of all women. Before the match, the host asked our captain if he was confident we would win. Answering “no” was not an option. Our captain replied: “Of course we have confidence because, generally, wisdom and beauty cannot coexist. Otherwise, it would be too unfair to us ordinary people.” This clever response not only boosted our team’s morale, but also acknowledged the strengths of our opponents in a respectful manner.
5. Avoiding conflict
Someone once asked Yu Guangzhong: “Why do you never respond when a certain person constantly criticizes you in different settings?” Yu replied: “He curses me every day, which shows that his life cannot go on without me. My lack of response shows that my life can go on without him.” This response demonstrates the power of not engaging in unnecessary conflicts and maintaining your peace of mind by choosing not to be provoked.
6. Responding thoughtfully
Responding thoughtfully to a message shows that you take matters and people seriously. If you miss it or are busy, you can always apologize later. It’s only after being ignored or brushed off that you truly appreciate the warmth of those who sincerely take the time to respond to you. A thoughtful response shows respect and consideration, reinforcing the value of meaningful communication.
7. Handling mistakes with grace
One day, my classmate and I went to a breakfast shop near school to buy some milk. We were so engrossed in conversation that we forgot to pay. As we picked up the milk, the vendor gently asked: “Did I give you your change?” It was only then that we realized we hadn’t paid yet. This small incident revealed the vendor’s high emotional intelligence as he gracefully avoided embarrassing us. Handling mistakes with grace not only resolves the issue, but also builds goodwill and understanding.
8. Easily resolving the ‘problem of the century’
A father asked his daughter: “Do you like Daddy or Mommy more?” The daughter replied: “I like Daddy more!” When asked why, she answered: “Because Daddy loves Mommy!” This seemed like the perfect answer, especially from a 2-year-old. It shows how a simple, honest response can defuse potential conflict and bring warmth to a conversation.
Embracing the art of listening
One of the key components of high emotional intelligence is the ability to listen actively. By genuinely listening to others, you show that you value their thoughts and feelings. This can lead to deeper and more meaningful connections. Try to listen without interrupting, acknowledge what the other person is saying, and respond thoughtfully. This practice can transform your conversations and relationships.
Translated by Katy Liu
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