6 Tips to Have a Good Relationship With Your Parents

African American couple with their teenage son.
As you transition into adulthood, a good relationship with your parents becomes a crucial foundation for emotional support, guidance, and a sense of continuity in the ever-evolving journey of life. (Image: Noriko Cooper via Dreamstime)

As you transition into adulthood, your relationship with your parents evolves. Although you become more independent, your relationship with them is still very important. 

To keep a good connection with your parents, you and they need to work at it and understand each other.

6 tips for getting along with your parents.

1. Do your part to be responsible

As an adult child, you need to take charge of your own life to get along well with your parents. To do that, find ways to help with jobs and bills around the house. Remember, it is a nice for you to do your fair share for them.

Also, talk to them openly and honestly. At times when you’ll be late or away, let them know what you have planned. Check in with them often to let them know how things are going at work or school, in your relationships, with friends, and in your social life.

2. Spend more time with your parents

Spending quality time is the key to maintaining a good relationship. With that in mind, try to schedule at least one meal or activity with them each week. Even if it’s just going out for coffee or watching a movie together, these small moments can help strengthen your bond. 

Small moments, like sharing a meal together, can help strengthen your bond with your parents.
Small moments, like sharing a meal together, can help strengthen your bond with your parents. (Image: Liquoricelegs via Dreamstime)

Other than that, do not forget to start meaningful conversations and listen when they share stories from their past. Though taking your parents for granted is easy, expressing gratitude for them can also make a big difference. 

Send a heartfelt card or letter telling them why you’re thankful for them. Your words of appreciation will make them feel loved and valued.

3. Listen to what your parents say

Your parents have lived many more years than you and gained a lot of wisdom and life experiences during that time. With that in mind, try to listen to them and understand their advice and guidance. Remember, be receptive to hearing things you may not want to hear. They want the best for you, so try not to get defensive if they bring up something unpleasant. 

After that, put their advice into action. When they offer guidance, ponder their suggestions and see if they are worth implementing in your life. They will notice your efforts, and it will strengthen your bond.

4. Recognize the flaws in your parents

Recognize that your parents are human and, thus, imperfect. While you should respect them, you should also need to understand their flaws and shortcomings.

  • They make mistakes. Your parents sometimes mess up and say or do things they regret. Do not hold their mistakes against them or let their poor choices permanently damage your relationship. Forgive them for their imperfections, just as you hope they forgive you for yours.
  • Their expectations may be unrealistic. Some parents have unrealistic standards for their children due to a desire to relive their own lives through them or make up for past regrets. Recognize when expectations seem unfair and calmly discuss setting healthy limits. You cannot control their hopes and dreams; you can only communicate your needs and boundaries.
Parents standing close to their daughter complaining about something as she holds a plate at meal time and rolls her eyes.
Recognize that your parents are human and, thus, imperfect. (Image: Monkey Business Images via Dreamstime)

5. Tell your parents what bothers you 

Communicating openly and honestly with your parents about issues that are bothering you can help strengthen your relationship. With that in mind, give clear examples of behaviors or events that upset you instead of making broad generalizations. Explain how those instances impacted you to help them understand your perspective fully. 

Aside from that, don’t bring up a long list of grievances at once. Choose one or two of the most significant issues to discuss, resolve those, and then revisit other topics once tensions have eased. Taking it step by step will make the conversations more productive and less overwhelming for everyone.

6. Keep your sense of humor

When tensions rise, a little lightheartedness can go a long way. In that sense, find opportunities to share a laugh with your parents. Watch a funny TV show or movie together, share amusing stories or jokes, and look through old photos of funny memories. Laughter releases endorphins that improve your mood and strengthen your emotional connections.

Nurture your bond with your parents

As you work to build a strong, healthy relationship with them, remember that it will take effort from both sides. Your relationship with your parents is one of the most important in your life, so do what you can to nurture that connection.

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