Once, a poet had written many poems and gained some fame. However, much of his work remained unpublished and unappreciated, which troubled him greatly and led to his unhappiness. The poet had a friend who was a Zen master. One day, the poet shared his troubles with the Zen master. The master smiled and pointed to a lush plant outside the window, asking: “Do you see that flower?” The poet glanced at the plant and replied, “It’s a night-blooming jasmine.”
The Zen master said: “Yes, this night-blooming jasmine only blooms at night, which is why people call it that. Do you know why it doesn’t bloom during the day but at night instead?” The poet looked at the master and shook his head.
The master smiled and said: “It blooms at night when no one notices, simply to please itself. ” The poet was surprised: “To please itself?” The master laughed: “Flowers that bloom during the day do so to attract attention and receive praise from others. But this night-blooming jasmine blooms and spreads its fragrance even when no one is watching to make itself happy. Shouldn’t a person be at least as content as a plant?” The master looked at the poet and continued: “Many people hand over the key to their happiness to others. Everything they do is for others to see and praise as if that’s the only way to be happy. Many times, we should do things for ourselves.”
The poet smiled and said: “I understand now. A person doesn’t live for others to see but lives for themselves, to be a meaningful self.” The master smiled and added: “Only by pleasing yourself can you avoid giving up on yourself; only by pleasing yourself can you improve yourself; only by pleasing yourself can you influence others. Remember, the night-blooming jasmine blooms at night, yet many of us fall asleep with its fragrance.”
The key to happiness
In each of our hearts, there is a “key to happiness,” but we often unknowingly hand it over to others to manage. When we allow others to control our emotions, we feel like victims, and complaint and anger become our only choices. At this point, we entrust this significant responsibility to those around us — expecting them to make us happy. Such a choice is neither wise nor rational. A woman says she is unhappy because her husband frequently travels for work and cannot always be with her. She has placed the key to her happiness in her husband’s hands.
A mother says, “My son is too naughty and disobedient, so I’m furious!” She has handed the key to her son. An office worker says, “I can’t get promoted because my boss doesn’t appreciate me, so I’m very frustrated.” He has placed the key in his boss’s hands. These examples are endless. What these people have chosen is nothing but letting others control their minds.
We live not to please the world but to live happily in our way. Life is about happiness; living unhappily is like living in vain. To be happy, you must learn to please yourself. Watch a favorite movie, listen to music, read a novel, or find a place to enjoy tea and daydream.
Pleasing yourself is not selfish; it’s not about resisting others or the world but about making yourself better while bringing happiness and beauty to those around you. A mature person should hold the key to their happiness and not expect others to get it.
We should share our happiness with others, allowing them to partake in it. Be the master of your life, not swayed by the environment or material desires; hold onto your key to happiness. If your key to happiness is in someone else’s hands, take it back as soon as possible.
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