Throughout history, mothers have played a profound role in shaping cultures and values. In ancient China, the phrase “when you drink water, think of its source” illustrates the deep appreciation for one’s origins and the foundational role of mothers. This article, the first in a three-part series, explores the lives of some of the most exemplary mothers in Chinese history whose wisdom and teachings left indelible marks on their children and, by extension, on society.
Yan Zhengzai: The steadfast mother of Confucius
Yan Zhengzai, born into a scholarly family but married as a concubine, faced immense challenges from the outset. After losing her husband when Confucius was just three, she endured severe ostracization by the principal wife and was denied her share of the family inheritance. Despite these adversities, Yan demonstrated extraordinary courage. With minimal wealth but rich in spirit, she relocated to Qufu, establishing a new home for herself and her young son in a single modest room.
There, Yan gathered local children, including her son, to teach them reading and writing. The scant funds from her teaching endeavors supported their livelihood, and the communal learning environment she created profoundly impacted Confucius. His mother’s example inspired his educational philosophy — to nurture all beings and teach without discrimination.
Through daily activities, Yan taught Confucius about traditional rituals and ceremonies, using simple, everyday interactions to impart complex cultural values. This foundation of knowledge and respect for tradition laid the groundwork for what would later become essential elements of Confucian philosophy.
Yan Zhengzai’s greatness lies in her profound foresight. Despite facing adversity and societal prejudice, she was not satisfied with merely considering their immediate material needs. Instead, she dedicated herself to her son’s future and to the broader educational principles that would one day form the cornerstone of Confucian thought. As a widow in ancient times, Yan Zhengzai not only secured a legacy through her son but also pioneered a model of maternal influence that would resonate throughout Chinese history.
Lady Zhan: A mother’s sacrifice and integrity
Lady Zhan, the mother of the famous general Tao Kan during the Eastern Jin Dynasty, was also renowned for her virtuous character and exemplary child-rearing. Having lost his father at an early age, Tao Kan witnessed his mother endure hardships to provide for his education and well-being.
One winter, during a snowstorm, Fan Kui, a man known for his filial piety and uprightness, visited his friend Tao Kan. Tao felt distressed due to his extreme poverty and inability to entertain the guest but kept it to himself.
Seeing her son’s distress, his mother offered reassurance and went out to sell her hair to buy food and wine. She then chopped off some wood from the support pillars inside their home to have firewood to cook with. She even took the straw that filled their only mattress and cut it into pieces to feed Fan Kui’s horse. Deeply touched by her actions, Fan Kui expressed that having such a role model would doubtless lead her son to achieve great things. He highly recommended Tao Kan to a local government official, thus launching his career.
Throughout his official career, Tao maintained a courteous and respectful demeanor, sincerely engaging with everyone he met. He was known for his fair and impartial approach, often recognizing and advancing the talents of individuals who were not in his immediate vicinity or personal network. Tao kept his doors open to all visitors, embodying a spirit of inclusivity and accessibility.
At one point during his career, Tao Kan managed waterways and fisheries. He once sent his mother a barrel of pickled fish to sample. However, she returned it untouched and wrote a letter expressing her disapproval: “As an official, you should not exploit government resources to give gifts to me, which not only brings no benefit but also adds to my worries.” Taking his mother’s admonishment to heart, Tao internalized this lesson of integrity and subsequently became a renowned and incorruptible minister in the Eastern Jin Dynasty.
Lady Yao: The iron will behind Yue Fei’s heroism
Lady Yao, the mother of the famous Northern Song general Yue Fei, came from a rural background with limited literacy. However, she possessed great insight and was known for her integrity and broad-mindedness. She raised Yue strictly, teaching him to endure hardship from a young age, to bear suffering, and to become a man of great integrity. Under his mother’s guidance, Yue maintained strict self-discipline, excelled in martial arts, and, at 19, joined the military to resist the invaders. Shortly after, due to his father’s passing, he left the army to return home to observe filial piety and serve his mother.
In 1126, when the Jin army launched a massive invasion of the Central Plains, the Southern Song court faced successive defeats, and the nation teetered on the brink of collapse. The Jin were considered nearly invincible, and defending the homeland required immense courage and dedication. But even in such circumstances, who could blame a widowed mother for keeping her son at home?
However, Lady Yao understood the importance of duty to one’s country and urged Yue Fei to return to military service. In a symbolic and motivational act, she tattooed the words “Serve the country with utmost loyalty” on his back, reinforcing his commitment to the nation. Driven by his mother’s encouragement and the weight of his responsibility, Yue rejoined the military at 22, ready to confront the invaders and protect his homeland.
Throughout his military career, Yue Fei distinguished himself as a formidable leader and tactician. He participated in over 200 battles, both large and small, proving his strategic genius as he advanced into the Central Plains, recapturing lost territories and pushing his forces toward Huanglong. Known for his transparent system of rewards and punishments, Yue led by example, earning his troops’ admiration and unwavering loyalty. He never failed to live up to his mother’s teachings, remaining loyal to serving the country with utmost dedication, unwavering until his death.
Indeed, what Yue’s mother accomplished through her “sacrifice” was remarkable. Faced with a national crisis, she set aside the deep bond between mother and son, prioritizing righteousness and duty. She encouraged her son to join the army and go to the battlefield. Yue’s mother’s profound understanding of righteousness will be remembered for eternity.
Translated by Joseph Wu
