Zhang’s parents both come from rural backgrounds, where they truly changed their lives through education. Because of this, they believe investing in their child’s education is the most important investment a family can make.
In the past, Zhang’s parents firmly believed in giving their child the best opportunities, even if it meant sacrifices. They sold their spacious 1,300-square-foot house and downsized to a cramped 320-square-foot apartment in a prime school district. They hired two one-on-one tutors for each core subject to ensure Zhang excelled academically.
However, these decisions took a heavy toll on their finances. They struggled to pay the rent each month, and the tutoring expenses became a huge burden. For the first few years of their child’s middle school education, Zhang’s parents didn’t buy new clothes, eat at restaurants, or even go to the movies. Their financial strain was constant, but they believed it was worth it to give their daughter a better education than they had received.
Online classes shattered their beliefs
The pandemic brought endless online classes, and Zhang’s private tutoring sessions were moved online. The results were disheartening, as her academic performance noticeably declined.
Her parents installed a camera at home, and to their shock, they discovered that Zhang was chatting in different windows and even playing games during online lessons. Despite their efforts to correct her behavior, the situation continued to worsen, leading to increased tension between the family.
During one online class session in her third year of middle school, Zhang’s father, who was working from home, needed to borrow the living room for a two-hour presentation to his company’s board of directors. He asked Zhang for permission, explaining that the cluttered balcony was not a suitable place for a formal video conference. Zhang agreed.
However, midway through his presentation, Zhang stormed out of the balcony, angrily shouting: “How can you make me sit on a tiny stool without even a desk? Do you have any idea how much your loud talking is disrupting my study?”
Zhang’s father barely managed to finish his presentation. Afterward, he led his daughter to the balcony, showing her how he, at six feet tall, had to crouch to work. He tremblingly showed her his bank statement, revealing how every penny went toward her education. He explained that he and his wife had not bought new clothes in years, and their undershirts had become threadbare from repeated washing.
He thought this would evoke sympathy or shame from Zhang, but instead, she retorted: “Is this my fault? It’s not my problem that you’re struggling! Other parents manage just fine. My classmates have their own rooms, and luxury cars pick them up from school. Have I ever complained?”
Life is the best teacher
This argument was the turning point. Zhang’s parents made the difficult decision to move out of their apartment in the highly coveted school district and buy a 1,400-square-foot house in a different area. They also canceled her private tutoring, opting for regular group classes instead.
“We thought it over carefully,” Zhang’s father explained to her teacher. “When we were students, we had far fewer resources than she does, yet we managed. Life itself is the best education. We want her to see the reality of our struggles and efforts and to live in the real world. More than grades, she needs to learn to be a person of integrity, compassion, and hard work.”
Zhang’s mother shared that their previous cramped living space had caused constant anxiety. Every night before bed, they thought about money. Their frustration reached its breaking point whenever Zhang showed any signs of laziness. But in their new home, they felt a sense of emotional relief. “We’ve come to terms with it — do our best, but don’t push too hard.”
What was the most important outcome of this change? Zhang herself learned a valuable lesson. When her parents offered to hire a tutor to help her with her weakest subject, English composition, she refused. “There’s no need to waste that much money,” she said. “I can buy some sample books and find free resources online.”
Hearing this, Zhang’s mother was filled with relief. “Even if she doesn’t get into the top high school, I don’t mind anymore. Her future is long, and as long as she’s on the right path, that’s what matters.”
After sharing this story, Zhang’s teacher emphasized the importance of raising children with compassion and understanding. The teacher offered four key points for parents to consider:
- Live within your means when educating your children.
- Avoid sheltering your children from the realities of life.
- Whether or not your child is born into wealth, don’t let them inherit the problems of the rich.
- Teach children the value of hard work and the realities of life’s challenges, including the inevitability of difficulties and setbacks.
Becoming a warmer, more compassionate person is both a duty and a remarkable achievement in life. Academic success is secondary. If a person can’t be kind, responsible, and considerate, then no matter how high their academic achievements, it means little.
Translated by Katy Liu
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