In November 1970, a 16-year-old girl named Zhao Ruoxi, who had grown up in a bustling Chinese metropolis, was suddenly thrust from the Northern Wilderness Corps engineering battalion in Heilongjiang into China’s most arduous animal husbandry unit. Though she knew nothing about this way of living or this type of work, the next day, she was assigned to replace a shepherd girl to herd sheep.
To understand Ruoxi’s plight, it’s essential to grasp the broader context of the time. Under the rule of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP), the Cultural Revolution, spanning from 1966 to 1976, unfolded as a tumultuous period of profound social and political upheaval. Orchestrated by Mao Zedong, its primary aim was to reinforce communist ideology while eliminating perceived threats to his leadership.
This decade-long campaign wreaked havoc nationwide, particularly targeting intellectuals and the educated youth. Schools and universities were closed, and young people were torn from their families and forced into manual labor in urban factories or the remote countryside.
The “Down to the Countryside Movement” saw millions of urban youths sent to rural areas to learn from the peasants. They endured harsh living conditions and backbreaking work. This uprooting disrupted their education and development, leading to what became known as a “lost generation” deprived of academic and personal growth opportunities.
Families were shattered as members were separated, and the constant political purges instilled fear and distrust, publicly and privately humiliating upstanding members of Chinese society while breaking down family structures and bonds, as well as traditional Chinese culture. The Cultural Revolution left a legacy of trauma and disillusionment, scarring the fabric of Chinese society in a way that remains evident to this day.
Below is just a small part of one young girl’s story.
The harshness of a new reality in the wilderness
It was a cold day when Ruoxi set out early in the morning, driving an unfamiliar flock of sheep into the wilderness. The sheep bleated in greeting as she took on the role of their shepherd. As the day progressed, a fierce wind blew, and the once-dim sunlight disappeared behind thick, dark clouds. Snowflakes started to fall, blurring her vision. Despite the hardships she had endured as a young intellectual, as she now stood alone in the vast wilderness, she felt more isolated and terrified than she could have imagined.
Unfamiliar with herding, Ruoxi’s sole aim was to return the 88 sheep safely to their destination. However, she soon lost her sense of direction and could only follow the sheep aimlessly. Suddenly, the sheep released a warning bleat as they simultaneously turned their heads. Ruoxi, albeit a bit slow to react, turned to see what had startled them.
“Ahhh!” she screamed. Two large wolves were trailing behind her. Overwhelmed with fear, she felt her legs tremble, but a sense of responsibility kept her from collapsing. Unlike Ruoxi, two sheep had already fallen to the ground. In desperation, she stamped her feet and called out in a girlish voice, “Get up! Get up! You must stand up!”
She looked at the departing flock, the wolves, and back at the two fallen sheep. She was too scared to touch them, as she had always feared furry animals — even little chicks and puppies. Instead, she used a two-foot-long stick to prod the sheep, but they remained motionless.
Sacrificing herself to save the sheep
Exhausted, cold, and hungry, with the wolves watching intently and the flock moving further away, Ruoxi felt like the end of her life had come. Her life flashed before her eyes as her mind raced through her 16 short years, particularly the harsh experiences as an intellectual youth.
Before her transfer to oversee the sheep, she recalled how she and the other girls had been assigned to move gravel. Due to the extreme cold, the girls took turns warming up in the truck’s cab, but those who entered were often groped and even assaulted by the men inside. The girls huddled in the truck bed to avoid this, finding solace while fighting the cold.
While the wild wolves that now stood before her were terrifying, the “wolves” in human form proved even more menacing. Ruoxi vividly recalled how she had defiantly slapped a lecherous leader who attempted to trap her. Though she escaped his advances, her defiance resulted in swift repercussions, and she was promptly reassigned to the most arduous animal husbandry unit as punishment. The next day, she found herself in unfamiliar territory as the shepherd of 88 sheep.
Understanding the dire implications of her situation within such a politically and socially charged environment, Ruoxi realized that as a targeted “disobedient” girl, her life was deemed less valuable than the sheep, the so-called “state property.” Undeterred by the potential consequences, she resolved to safeguard the sheep at all costs. Ruoxi seized her stick with unwavering determination and fearlessly charged toward the wolves.
At the sight of the seemingly fearless girl, the wolves were startled and tried to run away, but they soon stopped and turned around to watch her. Meanwhile, the two sheep finally stood up and returned to the flock. Relieved, Ruoxi followed them. Sometimes, when one sheds fears of death, death itself retreats. She returned the flock to the pen, realizing the sheep knew the way home.
By the time she returned, it was already dark. The entire livestock unit was worried, preparing to search for her and the sheep. When they saw her emerge from the snowy, exhausted but intact darkness, the other youths crowded around, expressing concern.
However, the squad leader was more interested in the sheep than her harrowing tale and quickly sent someone to count them. Initially, they reported only 86 sheep. Now on the verge of breaking down, Ruoxi struggled to explain. After a recount, they confirmed that all 88 sheep were present. Only then did the weight lift off her shoulders.
The comfort of a mother
Trying to hold back her tears almost overwhelmed Ruoxi. She rushed back to her dormitory, longing for her mother and the warmth of home after such a harrowing experience. Just then, she received a letter from her mother. This letter was her only source of warmth in the cold, harsh environment.
She went outside to read it under a dim diesel lamp. Before even opening it, her tears began to flow. She longed to cry out loud, but in the regiment, tears were a political statement and a sign of weakness. Crying meant yielding to hardship, suggesting that she had not embraced the re-education by the peasants and the lowly workers. It could even lead to political repercussions.
Holding the letter felt like an embrace from her loving mother. She could picture her mother’s warm hands and kind smile. She desperately wanted to lie in her mother’s arms and cry out all her sorrow. Unable to contain her emotions, she ran to a secluded spot, letting her tears wash away all her fear and pain.
Back in her dormitory, she read her mother’s letter under the covers again. It was filled with warmth and concern, bringing her back from the cruel world of wolves to a place of familial love and care. Her mother seemed to understand her predicament, offering comfort and a love she would always carry.
At the tender age of 16, Ruoxi yearned for the reassuring shelter of her mother’s protection and comfort. However, this harrowing experience forced her into the uncharted territory of adulthood.
Message in a dream
Ruoxi dreamt of being in her mother’s embrace as she drifted asleep. Her mother gently scolded her, saying: “You silly child, risking your life for sheep! Is the life of sheep more important than your own?”
Ruoxi replied: “I have another mother, the Chinese Communist Party. The Party teaches us to sacrifice everything for it, even our lives.”
Suddenly, one of the wild wolves spoke: “Wolves have their own rules and love, too. We even nurture human babies. We wouldn’t attack a young girl, especially one willing to sacrifice herself to save her sheep. The two sheep were willing to sacrifice themselves to save their shepherd girl. This selflessness touches us. Wolves and humans could have coexisted harmoniously…”
Two gunshots then rang out, and the regiment’s secretary killed the two wolves. Sobbing and distraught, Ruoxi rushed to hug the wolves. Then, her dorm mate woke her from the dream, saying she had been crying.
Reflecting on the dream, Ruoxi realized that while wild wolves appeared frightening, they had principles and a sense of goodness. Lecherous CCP wolves, on the other hand, appeared upright, but were wolves in sheep’s clothing. They had no principles, lacked humanity, and were widely present in the Chinese Communist Party’s power hierarchy.
Years later, most intellectual youths from the Northern Wilderness returned to their cities, including Ruoxi, who reunited with her family in Tianjin. Now in their seventies, these resilient women, who once braved the wilderness of ideological turmoil and cruelty, have gracefully transitioned into the cherished roles of mothers and grandmothers. Their experiences serve as both a testament to their strength and a reminder of the profound lessons of the past.
Reflections
In the aftermath of the Cultural Revolution, as memories fade but scars endure, we are prompted to contemplate the parallel between the untamed wilderness and China’s political landscape. Just as a young girl once confronted wild wolves in the harsh wilderness, so too do the Chinese people face the metaphorical wolves of the Chinese Communist Party.
While the wild wolf may evoke fear, it possesses a primal integrity and adheres to its natural standards. In stark contrast, the wolf embodied by the CCP lacks such a moral compass and is driven solely by a ruthless pursuit of power. Its legacy of destruction and suffering, born from the darkest depths of human ambition and cruelty, casts a long shadow over China’s history.
As we navigate the echoes of the past, a pressing question looms: how much longer must China endure the relentless oppression of the heartless wolf that is the CCP? The scars of the Cultural Revolution serve as a poignant reminder of the enduring struggle for humanity and integrity in the face of tyranny. It is a call to action, urging us to strive for a future where compassion triumphs over cruelty and the voices of the oppressed are finally heard.
Translated by Katy Liu and edited by Tatiana Denning
Follow us on X, Facebook, or Pinterest
