When my son was a freshman in college, he brought his girlfriend home and announced that they wanted to get married, and she would become my daughter-in-law. I was taken aback and told them that while dating with the intention of marriage is good, they were both still young and should prioritize their studies. They maintained a long-distance relationship throughout college.
Graduation and a bold proposal
Upon graduation, my son brought her home again and said they wanted to get married. The girl had a strong personality and spoke to me openly before the wedding, stating she had three conditions for marrying into our family:
- She wouldn’t do housework because she had never done it at her parent’s home and was unfamiliar after graduating.
- She didn’t want to be the one cooking at home, claiming the smell of cooking oil was harmful to her skin.
- They were young and didn’t want to have children immediately, so I shouldn’t pressure them.
I found her quite amusing and agreed to her conditions, but I had some of my own:
- She didn’t have to do housework, but she had to clean her room. I could handle the rest of the house but wouldn’t clean their room. She agreed.
- If she didn’t cook, I would, but if we bought takeout, they would be responsible for their meals. Since they were married adults, they couldn’t expect to be supported by their parents. She nodded in agreement, and we reached a consensus.
Living together and unexpected changes
As for her requests to visit her parents a few times a month and to have a cat and a dog, I said those weren’t issues. Visiting her parents was her freedom; she married my son, not sold herself to our family. Her parents raised her, and she should be filial to them. After reaching an understanding, we lived happily together.
Unexpectedly, my daughter-in-law not only started doing housework and had a child, but she also became an excellent cook. My eldest grandson is over three years old, and she’s expecting a second child. She has settled into being a full-time mom. I often tell my friends I didn’t plan to become a grandmother before I was 50, but they broke that plan.
The power of kindness
People’s hearts are made of flesh; they’ll naturally reciprocate if you’re kind to someone. Initially, she didn’t clean, and I helped them tidy up. At first, she honestly didn’t do housework or cook. Seeing that young people like to have fun, I kept the house clean and tidied their room since I had nothing else to do.
Though I initially said I wouldn’t clean their room, my daughter-in-law was surprised to see it spotless. When buying takeout, I also bought theirs. Sometimes, when I was too lazy to cook, I ordered delivery and included theirs.
She didn’t do laundry, so I helped with that, too. Sometimes, she’d be too tired from working late and fall asleep without washing clothes, so I’d wash, dry, and fold them. I treated her like my own daughter. When she visited her parents, I’d buy a gift for her to take to her mother. During holidays, I’d encourage my son to take her out for a romantic evening and prepare gifts for her. I carefully prepared gifts for her birthday as well.
A heartwarming transformation
These small acts of kindness didn’t go unnoticed, and she changed. From initial surprise to delight and eventually, to being moved, she transformed. She earnestly learned to do housework, albeit clumsily, but I saw her genuine effort. She began learning to cook and asked me to teach her. I joked that I’d have nothing to do once she mastered my skills. She replied that once she learned, I could retire from cooking.
Less than a year after their wedding, she unexpectedly became pregnant. Although it wasn’t planned, she insisted on keeping the baby. Watching her transform from a headstrong young girl into a gentle, wise homemaker made me very happy. After the baby was born, I offered to help care for him; despite my initial reluctance to become a grandmother so young, seeing my grandson filled me with joy.
Seeing me struggle with childcare, she resigned to become a full-time mom, saying it was too hard for me alone. Now, with her second pregnancy over five months along, she beams with happiness, and I genuinely feel she has matured.
From in-laws to friends
Now, our relationship is more like friends or sisters than in-laws. We happily chat and share our thoughts, even gossiping about my son and playing with my grandson.
We are just an ordinary family, not wealthy, with my son’s and husband’s jobs being quite average and salaries not high. But we live happily because the harmony and warmth of being together as a family are more important than anything else.
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