In Buddhist teachings, relationships — especially marriage — are seen as the result of cause and effect, shaped by past actions and personal behavior. Some people seem to enjoy smooth, loving partnerships, while others encounter constant emotional turmoil, breakups, or troubled marriages. Why do some individuals experience persistent relationship struggles? According to Buddhist wisdom, certain harmful behaviors can diminish the blessings needed for a stable, lasting relationship.
3 key actions that can secretly undermine your chances at a lasting relationship
1. The emotional and spiritual toll of abortion
I have observed many cases where couples start arguing frequently after an abortion. Why does this happen? Buddhist thought suggests that abortion leaves behind lingering emotional energy, often filled with resentment. This unresolved energy can unconsciously influence both partners, stirring up tension and conflict.
The effect can be especially strong if the couple, or the unborn child, carries significant potential blessings in their lives. In such cases, the spiritual and emotional consequences are even more powerful.
What often worsens the situation is when partners blame each other for the decision. The man may shift responsibility onto the woman and vice versa. Each insists they’re in the right, casting fault onto the other. This blame only deepens emotional wounds and, from a spiritual perspective, intensifies the unresolved energy left behind.
To counteract this, both partners should reflect sincerely, acknowledge their part, and express genuine remorse. Stubbornness only adds to the pain. As the Taoist philosopher Laozi taught: “Softness overcomes hardness.” Much of human suffering stems from rigid attitudes. People who refuse to soften emotionally often experience tension in both body and mind.
It’s also essential to consider how these actions affect the family’s broader well-being. The unborn child is part of the family line, and cutting off future generations may carry emotional and spiritual consequences. I’ve seen cases where individuals who enforced strict birth control policies or pressured others into abortions faced difficulties in their own descendants’ ability to have children.
2. Taking advantage of young, unmarried individuals
In today’s open society, casual relationships and fleeting connections have become common. Some people become involved in premarital relationships, leading to unplanned pregnancies, followed by abortions and eventual breakups. This pattern can create deep emotional wounds and have long-lasting effects on future relationships.
Traditionally, men who seduce and abandon young women were seen as having dishonored them, but the emotional damage applies to both parties. Whether man or woman, this kind of behavior leaves behind unresolved feelings and guilt, which can erode the stability of future relationships.
It’s crucial to reflect on these actions and express sincere remorse — not only to those directly involved, but also as part of maintaining emotional and spiritual well-being within the family. Without this, building a lasting, harmonious relationship later becomes much more difficult.
3. Becoming involved with someone who is already married
Regardless of gender, forming romantic relationships with someone who is already married brings serious consequences. While feelings may arise due to past-life connections or emotional familiarity, it is essential to remain rational and avoid entanglements that cause harm.
Giving in to such desires not only creates emotional turmoil but also leads to long-term struggles. Ancient wisdom cautions: “Do not incur romantic debts; someone in your own family will eventually pay them back.” In other words, the harm caused by disrupting others’ relationships often rebounds in unexpected ways, affecting your own love life and family stability.
Practicing restraint and honoring the commitments of others helps preserve the integrity and blessings of your own relationships.
How modern business practices can damage your love life
In today’s business world, many people use various tactics to win over clients — from extravagant meals to taking clients to inappropriate entertainment venues. Some even bring clients to illicit places in hopes of sealing deals. However, these seemingly harmless strategies come at a price, affecting not only financial integrity, but also one’s chances at maintaining a stable personal life.
Money gained through such means is considered impure, and I’ve seen many cases where individuals who engage in these tactics end up with broken marriages or relationship troubles. Their focus on profit and indulgence drains the energy needed to cultivate a healthy relationship.
Even more subtle forms of manipulation — such as using food, alcohol, or flattery to attract clients — carry hidden costs. Those who rely heavily on food and drink may notice declining health over time, while those who use inappropriate methods often see their relationships unravel.
The overlooked burden of industries tied to abortion
Another issue worth mentioning is society’s normalization of abortion, particularly in the medical field. Many hospitals offer abortion services, and the karmic burden doesn’t only fall on doctors and nurses — it extends to hospital investors, advertisers, and media outlets that promote these services, as such promotion contributes to the erosion of societal values and personal well-being. Even media platforms that engage in charity or public service can still face negative consequences by spreading harmful ideas.
Final thoughts
In relationships, as in life, your actions — whether personal choices, business practices, or even indirect involvement — carry far-reaching consequences. Behaviors rooted in selfishness, indulgence, or disregard for others not only cause immediate harm, but can also create lasting obstacles to finding true, stable love. By cultivating compassion, integrity, and reflection in every aspect of your life, you can establish a solid foundation for lasting, fulfilling relationships.
Translated by Joseph Wu
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